Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[hodge]

Wow, I don't know how I have missed this thread -- it's great!

T.: You're managing really well.
Me: Why doesn't it feel that way?
T: You have to lower your expectations about your functioning. For where you are, you are functioning well.
Me: So why can't I work a job anymore like you do?

 

[GG2488]

I would say to my therapist..
Thank god you came back. I was this close to the end!!

 

[Heather]

Do you think you'd support me if I got a gun and killed some people?

Don't take me seriously....Just a wild fantasy.

 

[watundah]

"I think you look really nice today. I mean I think you do because I cant know for sure based upon my speedy fleeting glimpses in your general direction."

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Do you realise every time you mention possible group therapy for me I want to run out that door and never return?!?!?!?

I feel you're blaming me by making comments like that.

What the hell happens after our assessment sessions and why are there so many?!?!?!?

I'm seriously wondering if I should have stuck with the previous therapist... Even though I could barely understand her accent.

Can you turn the heating off so I don't have to remove any clothing?!?

Say something!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!! Before I....... :banghead:

 

[LuckyDuck]

"I stopped meditation with you because your breathing sounds like sex noises."

Anybody else not able to stand that shit 'cause of that exact reason??

 

[Deleted member 29920]

T: Do you want to get out of your trap?

Me: Duh!

T: Do you feel ok with me?

Me: No, having serious doubts. Could it just be I'll never like any therapist, ever?!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

T: Shall we finish there for today?

Me: Hell yeah, I can't wait to get out of here!

 

[Ronin]

Go f*ck yourself and take your colleagues with you.

 

[Ronin]

Also, T: Why do you look so tense or sad?
Me: Right now mourning the minutes I'm losing with you. Precious irreparable time.

 

[Heather]

Is coming here 7 days a week, a possibility?

 

[Sandstone]

Pleased to meet you. Isn't it great we got funding for this?