I'm So Angry At My Shrink

[lostforgottensoul]

@sugnim i hope its ok to thank you for adopting a child and giving him a loving home! :hug:

Firing or not firing and trying to explain is your call. This is a VERY unethical thing, reportable, and huge reason to look for another therapist. This obviously is your call but I wanted to thank you for giving a child a much needed home! :hug:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I'd report her, and find a new therapist, does she realise it's 2016?!? What she said to you was totally unacceptable and discrimination.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Agreed @Cj77 !

 

[Sideways]

How much do I NOT care how friggin "perfect" my doctor's life is! Racist, homophobic, and "use me and mine as your role model"??? Wtf??

Even if your shrink just had a massive brain fart for some reason, that's not only unhelpful, it's counter-therapeutic, reportable, deplorable, ignorant...I could go on and on.

Furious at her on your behalf. Stay angry - use that anger to motivate yourself to find a new doctor. Report her if you can so that she doesn't push that crap on any more traumatised clients.

Everything everyone has said so far - ditto (except needing a male role model...why? Loving, caring, supportive parents x2. I 'spose we demonise single parents while we're at it??).

Just wanted to contribute to the communal outrage so that you are very clear that this community, living in the 21st century as we are, all feel the same way- completely unacceptable.

The wench isn't going to change her views. And it sounds like this is going to be a big impact on the type of support that you get from her in the future. So find someone else - preferably someone that doesn't have a great big bigoted pole shoved up their @rse.

Frankly, if you have a loving partner and are raising a happy child, that's exactly the kind of stuff that we want to promote in recovery. Tell your wife she's awesome and give your kid a big hug for me, because in this life, that's the stuff that counts.

 

[Ronin]

I'm much in the 'report her & if you feel up to it, circulate the news how unprofessional ass she is, she deserves to have all the ruined reputation she can get for this abusive shit' boat.

I'm sorry she pulled this, @sugnim. Not a single thing wrong with you & your loved ones, you do not deserve this treatment and never will.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Frankly, if you have a loving partner and are raising a happy child, that's exactly the kind of stuff that we want to promote in recovery. Tell your wife she's awesome and give your kid a big hug for me, because in this life, that's the stuff that counts.

Amen to that! I second this!

circulate the news how unprofessional ass she is,

This sounds like something I would do!

Def, if she brings this unethical closed minded view into a therapy session, it what she deserves.

I believe that 2 women can raise a wonderful male child and 2 men can raise a wonderful female child. It doesnt matter the gender of the role model, what matters is what you model of your child; children learn what they live and live what they learn!

 

[ShodokanJenn]

Finding someone whose beliefs matched mine was one of my top priorities in finding a therapist. I couldn't care less what my psychiatrist believes. The only thing I want from her is knowledgeable medication dispensing. But my therapist? I am not strong enough (yet) to stand up to someone whose beliefs are different than my own. Sure, we disagree on minor things, but on the majors? We are in total agreement. That said... one of my closest, most loved friends used to identify as a lesbian, and has since started identifying as trans. That goes "against" my beliefs, but I don't judge her for it for even a second. I am responsible for myself, and not ANYBODY else's actions and choices. And you know what? I believe I will see her in heaven. And I've never once thought of her as "my gay friend" or "my trans friend." "My close friend" is what comes to mind when I think of her. It should be the same with a therapist. I'm not trying to hold myself up as an ideal. Just saying that if broken ol' me can have that viewpoint, surely a therapist should be able to? If my therapist didn't at the very least support me in my own beliefs, I'd can him/her quite promptly.

 

[joeylittle]

I was so angry when I left our session. And I feel that I should be over it today, but I'm not. I feel like I was tricked. I regret all of our sessions, and I regret sharing things with her that I now can't take back. I wish she had disclosed her views when we first met.

You have a right to be angry about this, and no, you should never, ever have been put in the position of listening to that kind of narrow-minded bigotry. She was way out of line.

I felt trapped on her couch, wanting to tell her off and walk out, but feeling that she would judge me as a failure for not effectively dealing with the anger issues I originally went to her to discuss.

And this is why what she did was completely unethical. She did have you trapped.

Honestly - your first post is so beautifully written, I think you just look it over, make sure you feel right about it, cut the very last sentence, replace it with 'I'd like to know what steps I should take in order to pursue this matter further', and send it to your local ACLU.

I don't know exactly what the legal angle can be, but I would be surprised if there wasn't one. If nothing else, they can help you through the process of notifying her regulatory agency. I am so furious for you, I wish I could do something to help. That was unacceptable on her part.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

If nothing else you can hopefully get her license taken away; but thats hard to do but I agree that it needs to be reported. @joeylittle quoted the right quotes; you felt trapped. We trust our therapists with our most intimate thoughts and to make you feel so "little" like that, and trapped is horrible.

It would be the same for my therapist to say that I have to believe the exact same way as he does religiously...or was a horrible person due to a lot of the things one could justifablly judge me over. Its not right, its not ethical, its not what a therapist should do, ever!

Whatever you decide, you need to keep yourself mentally and emotionally safe! :hug:

 

[Panda Bear]

Aren't therapist supposed to remain unbiased and impartial?

What she did was hurtful and wrong! Regardless of your life choices, you don't need to be told that. She had you trapped and used it as a means to impart her personal view on your life choices.

Deeply hurtful and for that, I am sorry.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Just wanted to add, given the awful male and female parents of same 'race' as me I had, I'd have been better with any combination other than that, two fathers, two mothers, different 'race' or even single parent would have been so much better for me. Having a mother didn't teach me how to "be a woman." That therapist is highly deluded and downright abusive.

In the UK, this type of talk from a therapist would be very much frowned upon.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I second that @Cj77 !