Triggers And Discovering What They Are

[Malaenis]

I have complex PTSD, which can be tricky figuring out triggers. For me at least. I'm still so new to this diagnosis and learning about cptsd. I triggered myself by making myself remember an event so I could work through it. But because I have complex not "regular" ptsd, I didn't vividly remember the moment, I felt the emotions of being back in it. Because I feel the emotions, it's really hard to always notice a trigger when it happens. Suddenly I'm incredibly depressed. Sometimes I have an anxiety attack and can tell.

But I wondered how others figure out their triggers, and is it even possible to discover all of them? To prevent being triggered? My abuse started as young as 2 yrs old. So I never lived trauma free. From my PTSD workbook, I've experienced 10 types of trauma throughout my life. Which makes me feel like the only way to keep completely away from triggers would be to fully isolate myself.

Thanks for any help.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I figure out my triggers when they happen, but it's hard to keep track.

Maybe using a notebook and marking down events?

 

[jcizzle]

I hope you learn more as you go and figure out how to manage your flashbacks. Pete Walkers book has an excellent, 13 management step list. I am still new to this too so I am discovering what triggers me. One thing that has helped to identify triggers is to keep a journal and keep track of feelings, fears and how I react to them. If I am tempted to harm myself, isolate, call 911 or go into a rageful outburst then chances are I am being triggered into a flashback. I can understand you wanting to isolate to avoid any potential flashback. Sometimes all I want is to be around people so I do not feel alone but then social anxiety kicks in and then I want to run away! I highly recommend Pete Walkers book "Complex PTSD from surviving to thriving". If you are working with a therapist then hopefully the two of you can figure out together what triggers you and how to respond mid flashback.

 

[Malaenis]

I already have that book and love it. It is such a great book. The way he explains it, it was so perfect. I finally felt like I understood so much that before I didn't get. I stopped reading at about chapter 9 to read the book Running on Empty. My therapist has me working on the PTSD Workbook now. It has a whole section on Complex PTSD.

I did notice that my son can trigger me. Because his life is different from mine growing up. Certain moments that becomes more clear and triggers me.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

hmm, couild you maybe describe a situation your son triggered you? I am interested

 

[jc3]

I already have that book and love it. It is such a great book. The way he explains it, it was so perfec...

I Am glad that you enjoy the book. Hopefully this workbook that you have mentioned, along with your therapists guidance will help you along the way. I am interested in a workbook too. I will ask my therapist about it on Monday. Take care.

 

[Malaenis]

hmm, couild you maybe describe a situation your son triggered you? I am interested

One example is something as simple as when he spills something. I still cringe to this day when I spill something. My mom would freak out, screaming, telling me I was stupid for not getting a towel within seconds of spilling something. I locked myself in the bathroom once after spilling something to escape her. With my son I calmly tell him go get whatever he needs to get to clean the spill. Make sure to say it was an accident but be more careful next time. Nothing like my mother. But it brings up how my mother reacted when I would spill something.

I Am glad that you enjoy the book. Hopefully this workbook that you have mentioned, along with your therapists guidance will help you along the way. I am interested in a workbook too. I will ask my therapist about it on Monday. Take care.

Good luck! I find it helpful, along with the book specific to CPTSD.

 

[Bipfroggit]

usually my triggers are from a song i hear on the radio, or the way someone is standing over me if they are telling me something, or if someone speaks in a similar accent to my abuser or has similar facial features to the abuser. It can trigger me, and it is the hardest thing in the world for me to maintain a facade of calm until it is safe to let out the panic. then when i have a flashback or emotionally intense episode of crying and shivering, i go wash my face and listen to binaural beats to calm myself...

 

[Sideways]

@Malaenis - this is me just thinking out loud because I definitely don't have the answers, but with the situation you described with your son, would it be helpful to reframe that in your mind?

Members talk about how relatives or their kids "trigger them", and I've always thought that must be really stressful and intense for someone you love and see all the time become "a trigger" in your mind. I often get really panicked if I realise I'm approaching a trigger (like particular carpets), and I couldn't imagine someone I love starting to cause me that kind of panic.

So, for me, in that situation it would be really important for me to say "milk got spilled and that's a trigger for me". It just so happened it was your son, but possibly anyone spilling mik would give you the same reaction?

That would potentially avoid the risk of the mindset "my son triggers me" setting in, and keeping the anxiety related to the spilt milk; rather than associating your son wholus bolus as like a walking potential trigger-timebomb. Anyone can spill milk, and he'll soon move through the age where he's having those sorts of "oopsies" regularly...

I had a situation where I couldn't walk down the street on the way to the drugstore I used, because I had to walk past the building of a place where something really nasty happened to me. I worked on reframing what "the trigger" was in my mind - it wasn't the street, or even a particular building. It was an office in a particular building that was the core trigger. Just reframing it like that means I can walk down that street again (big deal for me!). So just my experience, but the way we frame the trigger in our mind can have a huge impact on how much of a problem it causes. The smaller and more specific the trigger, the less chance for meltdown.

IDK But I just think it would be awful if your mind ended up translating your son as the trigger, when in fact it was the milk getting spilled??

 

[shimmerz]

I have trusted people that help me to identify my triggers and how I respond to them. It is super helpful to have someone help me work through this stuff.

With complex trauma I find that triggers can be identified, broken but then can come back at another time, during another phase of processing, because the trigger is tied to more than one issue.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

I have complex PTSD too. I also grew up being abused from day one.

My triggers range from overt (holidays and specific dates) to bogglingly subtle and complex. A lot of people don't believe me when I say that I'm triggered by the way the light falls on certain afternoons. But it's really their problem, I don't need to explain It to them. Unfortunately one of my triggers is when people don't believe me (my father beat me for lying to him. He would insist I was lying even when I told him the truth. He would tell me I was lying when I told him the sky was blue, literally. Basically he taught me that everything I say and believe in is a lie. It took ages to detangle from the conditioning, but the trigger remains).

I don't think for me it's possible to discover all the triggers. And even if I did, it's impossible to avoid all of them. How the hell am I going to avoid "how the light falls on certain afternoons"?

I think the only way to deal with triggers long-term is to find out how to tamp down the response to them in the first place. I have no idea how to do that. I haven't had therapists who know how to help me do that either.

I will look into a couple of the books mentioned above. Financial circumstances being what they are ever since I lost my job and have been unable to hold down a new one, I'm going to have to figure out how to afford them. Maybe I can ask at my library.

 

[Sideways]

@Ava Jarvis - totally agree that even once you know them, some triggers can be avoided (eg returning to your childhood home) while others can't.

One of my triggers is the smell of meat pies, which is pretty dysfunctional here in Australia (the US equivalent is probably the smell of hot dogs). Can't avoid that. The best I can do is learn to be aware what's happening (I've smelled a meat pie, and that's triggered me because it reminds me of...) and learn to try and control the way I respond, which is usually pulling out my CBT big guns: it's just a smell, I'm actually 34 and I'm completely safe..." etc.

Crappy, because you'll be in an everyday situation and suddenly find yourself in the middle of a private therapy session in your head while everyone adound is assuming that everything's completely normal.

For what it's worth, I know a guy who got triggered by the light at a certain time of dusk because it was the same as the light in a room he was locked in. So I don't doubt that you're telling the truth for one second:)