What do you do when you only feel good cutting or hurting yourself?

KA60 said:

I am not sure how to help but your nervous system is getting an unhealthy addictive release of neurochemicals when you cut yourself. DBT CBT rational emotive therapy walking reading sitting outside in nature getting a dog or cat to love and hug staying hydrated getting nutritious food 7-9 hours of sleep is better.

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Rose White said:

You could volunteer at a shelter but it might just make you sadder that you can’t take one home.

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Rose White said:

I used to do sex work too (online modeling). I believed it was the only way for me to make enough money too. But that wasn’t true. There are other ways. Not saying it’s easy by any means to shift a mindset, just gently challenging that perspective.

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HollowLavender said:

I know what I'm good at and what I'm meant form idk how to challenge the thoughts I've been taught to believe that since ten. If I don't do this I won't be able to get my own place. I just want an apartment and a dog

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Movingforward10 said:

Is it harming you in the process? And whilst you want your own place, the more you do this work the more trauma you have to heal from?

There are other jobs. It might take longer to save up if they don't pay as much money. But they will be way less harmful.
You are more than a body for men to use. Way more

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Movingforward10 said:

Is it harming you in the process? And whilst you want your own place, the more you do this work the more trauma you have to heal from?

There are other jobs. It might take longer to save up if they don't pay as much money. But they will be way less harmful.
You are more than a body for men to use. Way more.

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HollowLavender said:

How are you supposed to coop when people have pushed you to the point that nothing else works? I try the breathing and CBT and DBT stuff and it doesn't work. People make me so frustrated and mad and I can't just snap at them because then I'm the bitch so I keep my mouth shut and then it builds and builds and everything is a f*ckin 11 so it's so overwhelming.

But when I cut myself or am being reckless it all goes away. I feel tranquil when I'm sitting in my car or on the bed feeling that stinging pain and seeing the little red beads for a moment everything is quiet everything is still and all those feelings are gone. When I'm being reckless and have sex Its kinda the same but different. It's like so many positive emotions and sensations my brain gets so overloaded it crashes and all the feelings just disappear. (I call it 404 when my brain checks out from the sex high)

Both feel so much better than reality how are you supposed to give that up? I Turned my need to 404 into a career I'm making over 500 a month extra to put towards an apartment so I can just be alone and cutting doesn't hurt myself it hurts other people. My therapist was genuinely concerned when she asked why I thought I needed to stop cutting and I said "it upsets my friends when they see it and people look worried if they see them." and she said I mean why you think you should stop cutting for you. I genuinely don't think it's a problem. It keeps me from screaming and snapping at people and my snaps get bad... Like bad bad. I don't want to hurt people but I'm perfectly willing if I don't get out of this hell and if slitting my wrist everyday or boning a few hours for cash and to forget why is that bad? I feel like people want me to view cutting as this cardinal sin but it's the only thing that makes everything quiet?

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flesh and blood said:

Self harm does help with lowering the intensity, it’s true, it is an effective coping mechanism, the issue with it is that it’s not the healthiest, you are harming yourself and it can also subconsciously get you to internalize certain behaviors and feelings that can harm you long term. It’s not the worst cope you can have but it’s also not the best, end of the day it does the job you’re looking for. But finding a better coping mechanism that can achieve the same decrease in intensity, will help you a lot more in the long run; adopting them can be challenging in the beginning but very beneficial. If you’re interested I can give you some coping mechanism that can replace cutting, that’s what I did to replace using sex drugs and self harming to reduce my intensity. None of these copes are inherently bad, they work that’s why we use them, it’s just that there are other things which are less harmful but can achieve the same result.

To me it sounds like you’re constantly in fight or flight, maybe because of your living situation idk, but when we’re in that state we have a much higher tolerance for harmful shit. If the sex work ain’t harming you and you do want to continue doing it, shit go ahead, but also sometimes we need to get out of the fight or flight by being somewhere safe and stable to be able to see if something is harming us or not. Like for me now I can’t really see myself going back to sex work, but that’s because I’m in a stable and safe situation, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t think twice about it and might not even see it as something impacting me negatively, because I’d much rather work less hours and get a shit ton of money than be even more overwhelmed as a cashier making minimum wage. Sometimes to get out of a shit situation, unconventional shit can definitely help us more, that’s for you to decide what u wanna do, but do keep in mind that being in fight or flight constantly does blind you and you can’t fully see the impact decisions you make are having on you because your brain cannot stop and take in what is happening fully.

When do you think you’d be able to get your own place?

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