Being told to "stop being unhappy."

I apologize if this is the wrong place to discuss this topic. I am sorta new here.

Days ago, I vented on a forum (won't say what kind and the name) in regard to my mental breakdown at work and trauma from my job. It only received one comment which while wasn't the advice I was looking for, the person in question also struggled with chronic overthinking and at least understood my situation.

I was stupid enough to respond to that comment which increased views on my thread. Which I didn't want anymore attention. Another person responded and while the advice was probably genuine. It still rubbed me the wrong way and I don't think the lady has ever experienced PTSD. One part of their comment told me to just "stop being unhappy" or something like that.

Afterwards, I deleted my post. The comments are still there but pretty much it is out of context so that makes me hope no one revives the thread. I tried to write a new thread that was just casual chit chat and bumped other threads that way my vent thread can be buried.

People suck.

Not everyone gets it. The internet, this site included, is as safe/unsafe, supportive/unsupportive as in real life. Not everyone is clued up. We're not all going to see things the same way.

One of the mantras on this site is "take what works and leave the rest". Which is really good advice that I try and hold on to. It's difficult to do if we're triggered or particularly sensitive to something.

The question I have is, what's made you want to delete your thread because someone posted something uninformed? That might be something to unpick for yourself?

Movingforward10 said:

The question I have is, what's made you want to delete your thread because someone posted something uninformed? That might be something to unpick for yourself?

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I solely only made that thread to have someone to talk to and look for advice since I currently have no access to therapy. Not to mention my situation is uncommon; had no luck finding similar situations on Reddit. I don't think I have ever met anyone who was sent to HR due to a panic attack. Then again, there is a language barrier at my company and the one leader that saw my incident doesn't speak very good English and is recent so that was probably her best way to handle the situation.

In matter of fact I often get sent to HR although I don't have a behavior problem. Usually it's due to my poor hygiene or not doing well at a task. I do wish my team communicates with me instead of having someone who never works at the same job talk about it with me. I think that is poor management.

I actually did try sharing my story on here but it only got one comment so I was hoping to get more insight on my situation since my parents are currently struggling financially and I am a big help with the rent and groceries.

My other reason I "deleted" the thread is I didn't want history to repeat itself. I one time vented on that same site and while I did receive some kind advice. There was one guy who pretty much implied I was lazy and he said America isn't a difficult place to live in. (he's European) The thread got derailed as someone stood up to me and he called them a slur. So of course I didn't want to receive any unsolicited advice ever again especially from those who haven't experienced poverty and mental health in America.

Yes, I should've known better but it's like the equivalent to a drunk person having a hangover. You get caught up in the moment due to some factors and make irrational decisions. In my case, I was desperate and depressed to the point I took a risk. And that risk came with consequences.

Of course I don't expect anyone to be perfect. But from my personal experiences I feel those that give out blunt advice are the ones who love to hear themselves talk or hold certain agendas. For the latter I have had one conservative guy from Poland brushing off my depression and I was acting like the liberals in his country for disliking my stressful job and having anti-captilistic views. But I am probably making a generalization and hopefully I don't offend anyone for having that opinion. Again, this is just my observation than a straight up fact.

Some things that were left out in my previous comment.

- I live in Eastern Washington in the US. (not DC) There is a large Hispanic population. My Spanish skills aren't very good
- I have been working at my job for nearly 7 years.
- My dad works at the same company. We both make minimum wage. My mom on the other hand has bigger income at a different company in a QC role. Although she has been struggling due to paying for my sister's car. My sister hasn't gotten her license yet and still hasn't found a job.
- I grew up in a dysfunctional family and have been heavily bullied hence why I am a sensitive person.

Kitsune said:

Yes, I should've known better but it's like the equivalent to a drunk person having a hangover.

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I don't think ittaboit you needing to know better. You started a thread as you wanted some help from people who might understand. That's perfectly ok and that's what this site is all about.
My question was more about you exploring why some stranger's comment impacts you to the level it does. As exploring that might help you to heal and develop a stronger sense of self.

Kitsune said:

Of course I don't expect anyone to be perfect. But from my personal experiences I feel those that give out blunt advice are the ones who love to hear themselves talk. But I am probably making a generalization and hopefully I don't offend anyone for having that opinion. Again, this is just my observation than a straight up fact.

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And those people you can ignore if what they say and how they say it doesn't work for you. That includes my reply and anyone else's.

Movingforward10 said:

I don't think ittaboit you needing to know better. You started a thread as you wanted some help from people who might understand. That's perfectly ok and that's what this site is all about.
My question was more about you exploring why some stranger's comment impacts you to the level it does. As exploring that might help you to heal and develop a stronger sense of self.

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I think it was just how she worded it and it's similar to telling someone to "calm down" which not everyone reacts to that phrase very well.

There are other alternatives to tell someone to cheer up that aren't too direct but then again I imagine other people won't like them either.