So I’ve been seeing a therapist since January at a clinic next to me she was so good all the time warm , caring, non judgmental etc she then told me in march she will be leaving at the end of the month so I told her I can book with her through her website so she’s like oh you know about my private practice and I said yes she’s like let me ask my lawyer get back to you so she did and told me if I’m the one who approach her book through the website that’s fine , so it ended at end of march I told her thank you for everything hugged and told her you were the only one that was good to me.
Keep in mind the day before I cut and told her she told me she has to contact my GP told her ok
So after I went home I booked an assessment on her website she only does online zoom call.
The assessment was horrible! I felt she was completely different person not the same as one at the clinic like it was all fake I felt betrayed it really feels now that she’s the one that hurt me the most
- She told me: “You dodged saying goodbye at the clinic and you came after me,” in a scolding, judgmental way
- She said things like: “People meet for a season and then they leave, that’s normal.
- She used a movie metaphor: “Movies have a beginning and an end, you don’t rewatch it straight away after it finishes,” to justify ending.
- The overall tone felt personal, like an angry ex, not like a psychologist talking to a high‑risk client.
I’ve been reading some psychology articles about how therapy should end, and they all basically say the same thing: that endings are supposed to be planned and collaborative, with enough notice, and usually only once the client is more stable. They say that for high‑risk clients who are suicidal, self‑harming or in a major life crisis, an abrupt ending or suddenly putting a strict time limit can actually increase distress and make symptoms worse. One guideline even says that ‘leaving abruptly can amplify the client’s distress, particularly anxiety and self‑harm risk.’ They also talk about ‘abandonment’ when a therapist ends in a way that feels rejecting or unprepared.
articles say endings with someone in crisis should be gentle, planned, and after some stability, and what she did was the opposite.
This is what I got prepared for her next week when I see her and planning to end it , you guys think I should just send it by email or better in person ? I hate confrontation and a stutter etc don’t know how to express myself , during the assessment I was hungover and couldn’t really fight back just taking all this and nodding
I need to tell you how last week felt. I left feeling like you were very distant and strict with me. The whole vibe was completely different from how you were with me at the clinic . It felt judgmental, and it really affected me.
When you told me about the 12 sessions and the countdown, it felt like a timer hanging over my head, not something helpful. Knowing you’d say every week ‘this is session 2 of 12, 3 of 12…’ just feels like too much pressure and stress. It doesn’t feel like support, it feels like a consequence for being honest about how much I depend on people like you.
I also felt like you put me in the ‘lost cause’ box, the same way my family do. When you brought in the 12‑session limit and changed your tone, it stopped feeling like a safe, steady therapy and started feeling like I was being managed until you could get rid of me. It made me feel judged, like maybe you secretly agreed with my family that I’m the problem and not worth long‑term work. That has really hurt me and made me feel more worthless, because if even my therapist who has seen everything gives up on me, it reinforces the belief that I’m beyond help.
I left the clinic feeling you were the only person who had really been good to me. After this assessment and the sudden time‑limit, I now experience you as the professional who has hurt me the most. The way this was handled has significantly damaged my trust . Now I’m scared to be fully honest with any therapist because I’m afraid they’ll react like you did and end things.”
Keep in mind the day before I cut and told her she told me she has to contact my GP told her ok
So after I went home I booked an assessment on her website she only does online zoom call.
The assessment was horrible! I felt she was completely different person not the same as one at the clinic like it was all fake I felt betrayed it really feels now that she’s the one that hurt me the most
- She told me: “You dodged saying goodbye at the clinic and you came after me,” in a scolding, judgmental way
- She said things like: “People meet for a season and then they leave, that’s normal.
- She used a movie metaphor: “Movies have a beginning and an end, you don’t rewatch it straight away after it finishes,” to justify ending.
- The overall tone felt personal, like an angry ex, not like a psychologist talking to a high‑risk client.
I’ve been reading some psychology articles about how therapy should end, and they all basically say the same thing: that endings are supposed to be planned and collaborative, with enough notice, and usually only once the client is more stable. They say that for high‑risk clients who are suicidal, self‑harming or in a major life crisis, an abrupt ending or suddenly putting a strict time limit can actually increase distress and make symptoms worse. One guideline even says that ‘leaving abruptly can amplify the client’s distress, particularly anxiety and self‑harm risk.’ They also talk about ‘abandonment’ when a therapist ends in a way that feels rejecting or unprepared.
articles say endings with someone in crisis should be gentle, planned, and after some stability, and what she did was the opposite.
This is what I got prepared for her next week when I see her and planning to end it , you guys think I should just send it by email or better in person ? I hate confrontation and a stutter etc don’t know how to express myself , during the assessment I was hungover and couldn’t really fight back just taking all this and nodding
I need to tell you how last week felt. I left feeling like you were very distant and strict with me. The whole vibe was completely different from how you were with me at the clinic . It felt judgmental, and it really affected me.
When you told me about the 12 sessions and the countdown, it felt like a timer hanging over my head, not something helpful. Knowing you’d say every week ‘this is session 2 of 12, 3 of 12…’ just feels like too much pressure and stress. It doesn’t feel like support, it feels like a consequence for being honest about how much I depend on people like you.
I also felt like you put me in the ‘lost cause’ box, the same way my family do. When you brought in the 12‑session limit and changed your tone, it stopped feeling like a safe, steady therapy and started feeling like I was being managed until you could get rid of me. It made me feel judged, like maybe you secretly agreed with my family that I’m the problem and not worth long‑term work. That has really hurt me and made me feel more worthless, because if even my therapist who has seen everything gives up on me, it reinforces the belief that I’m beyond help.
I left the clinic feeling you were the only person who had really been good to me. After this assessment and the sudden time‑limit, I now experience you as the professional who has hurt me the most. The way this was handled has significantly damaged my trust . Now I’m scared to be fully honest with any therapist because I’m afraid they’ll react like you did and end things.”
how would have I known that after transitioning that would happen 
