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Why can't my emotions be sized to my something I can try to handle? Why are my emotions overwhelmingly huge? I shouldn't feel this much pain and sadness and loss and suffering, it's too much for one soul. I am so tired of the pain. Every day of my life has been like this. Im 56 years old...

My husband remains suicidal, probably more so now than in the 15 years I know him. What's hard is to hear the blame hurled my way. I don't listen, I want him smiling all the time (no, I just don't want him DEAD), if my job was more successful he'd feel better, and I badger him, and and and...

I am not hopeful any longer. Why bother? The facts of my life are X, my options are Y. That's what I got, it is not changing, it never does. Last weekend I began to recognize this feeling as grief. So. Much. Loss. Loss of friends, family, security, support, loss of any kind of meaningful...

Husb is CPTSD with social anxiety. I am CPTSD too. He went off his meds without warning, cold turkey, and didn't tell me. SSRI, so he emotionally soured almost immediately, told me after 2 weeks (of being nasty and having episodes again) he booted the pills. Here's where I am at: Forward...

Good Morning to All, How long does it take you to recover from a bad trigger incident? What strategies work to get back to some kind of steady state? I am sitting at desk like a zombie after horrid Sun and Mon, the dam broke last night and the episode is over, but it takes me up to a week to...

My deepest pain comes from no one caring about my suffering. This morning I tried to express a big anxiety to my mate and he took it as a personal insult. He called me names, and patronized me, and made me feel like a fool. Now I hate myself again. I have a giant set of tasks ahead of me and...

Good Morning, A nasty start to the day. I tried telling my mate I was feeling triggery about something that is undone in our lives -- it's not a huge thing, but it's getting to me. My husband understands and is my rock but I can't always convey my feelings well when triggery, so we fought. I...

This guy is starting to get me down. We both have CPTSD, I'm further along in healing. Another huge weekend fight, where I was again told that if I didn't trigger my husband then he wouldn't be so pissed at me. In other words, if you think what you are going to say may upset me, then don't...

My CPTSD healing is more advanced than my husband's, he and I both know that. However, I am getting hints that his family abuse may have been worse than he has allowed himself to recall, because of the magnitude and pervasiveness of his trauma-management behaviors as an adult. The poor guy has...

I can't decide if addressing my PTSD is a question of living with the repetitive anxiety loops and trying to shrink them, or trying to eliminate them altogether. I'm increasingly resigned to coping not conquering. This is a chronic condition, you manage it only, with varying successes. That's...

Hey Team, Happy Monday, here's the latest rat's nest: Does anyone else experience periods of getting-it-done energy, that seem to be the opposite of hiding-while-triggered? I don't think it's bipolar, more like you get behind when hiding so that you need to hustle to hold on to the normal...

Good Morning All, Does anyone else suffer from PTSD-generated procrastination? I constantly struggle with this. Sometimes it actually leads to a trigger-like reaction -- fear, hiding, etc etc. It's not fear of doing a specific task, it's mental paralysis.

Hi All, My husband and I both have CPTSD. He has "episodes" where he is unable to accurately process what another is saying, choosing instead to hurl bombs and protect himself. I understand his hypervigilance, we understand his diagnosis and healing, we have been together awhile. Only...

My husband is a workaholic. We have zero social life. He justifies his working all the time as him being the guy you can count on, the guy who solves problems, blah blah. It's pretty clear that his reliance on work as the ONLY meaningful way to spend time is a coping mechanism. Both of us...

Today's weirdness in PTSD world is checking my husband's bank balance since his password expired a week ago. I have been secretly panicking about his bank balance for days, for no reason. Today I called the bank and reset the password, heart pounding, fight-or-flight instinct firing away...

husband and I both have PTSD. His hyper vigilance is expressed in irrational worries about negative outcomes that do not exist. He has real trouble relating to my kids, 19 year old twins, who are pretty darned stable -- in college, heading for good careers, polite, just normal. He exaggerates...

I have a delicate professional matter that involves my boss and his boss. Naturally I fretted about this over the weekend, but pretty normally -- I was not freaking out, nor triggered. Thank God for Prozac. This morning I went over my boss' head, engaged the head of the company, he fully...

The past 12 months have been another year of healing. Every bday I look at my PTSD and consider where I was a year ago. My husband also suffers from PTSD and so our progress is always linked. This year hubby crossed over from still sick to healing. He is getting control of his triggers...

I feel like a two year-old afraid of a balloon or something else infantile. My job requires more phone work than I expected, I am stressing. What stinks is that once I reach the person (which validates my purpose as a worthy human, again -- ridiculous) I am fine. Can feel the cortisol and...

My husband and I both have PTSD. I am a little ahead of him in my recognition and healing. He has a history of driving himself really hard, to ensure he is never criticized, not a weak link, he's the guy doing the most the fastest the best. (In other words he was trying to insulate himself...

I got triggered Sunday. The reason is immaterial because it's the zillionth time I played out this dysfunctional scene with my husband. As usual I fled, drove for hours, crying....feeling again like I belong nowhere, won't ever land in a secure place, and can only endure life until God says I...

It is with pleasure that I share two healing threads in my life: 1) I adopted a rescue dog. It has been 3 years since I had a dog, and her sweet presence is a constant source of support and joy. RECOMMEND. 2) New job, working from home full-time, is hard but far less disruptive than my last...

In about a year I am relocating out of state. The move requires I get a mortgage on my new home, which means an employment track record, so I am transitioning my career right now, well in advance of the move. I can't keep my current job and move, but I can consult for them. The level of BS...

Does anyone else crash from exhaustion periodically? I work so hard, for income, for approval, for my future. Last week I overdid it and since Friday have been zero energy. I force myself to rally and keep going but inside all I want is to climb in bed. I had a big trigger last week too...

I love this board, I am with my own kind! ;) Today's biochemical brain pain is over paying the bills. Why? Well, there is some financial insecurity right now in my household but that doesn't warrant my gnawing grinding belly ball of stress and fear. I get that sometimes we have dough...