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thank you, i wasnt too sure where it belonged. I was thinking it might have something to do with several things, 1, The people pleaser in me, I had a Narc Mother who i was always trying to please, I was never good enough for her and she was always making me feel shameful for anything i did...

I need some help, I have a chronic need for being sneaky, and I do mean Chronic. it usually centres around sexual acts, this includes but not exclusively, cheating, posting online, talking to guys online, sharing pictures etc. It also stems to other quite normal things, like hiding lollies...

One day at a time, you don't need to change the world right this second. I stole this from AA... it works if you work it, so work it because Your WORTH it. And you are worth it regardless of our own mindset. Healing is confusing, messy, painful and a whole myriad of emotions and reactions...

im so happy i did remember, I remember how we all help and support each other, share our stories, help with our own truths. thank you so much arfie, just over here a little to the left.

Dont respond. that is a great way to get under her skin and then remove her from your life, get her out of your head, also if you see a therapist talk about EMDR. Just becasue she is your birth mother doesnt mean jack. If shes a Narc it wont mean jack to her either, shes never going to change...

Hi Everyone, The last time i posted my rose coloured glasses had broken, oh boy, did they break!! they were replaced with a Blind Fold, it was 2weeks after I had a pretty big accident, car, i went for a roll with her horizontally down a cliff, I rolled with her down 50mtrs of embankment then...

i hide myself too, its not easy to let people in. i tend to behave as people expect me to, happy bubbly and smiling when really im dying inside. plus i cant stand the pity i get from people, i mean really, people, i dont need your pity, i need someone to just be there. but... i dont want you...

weak wiːk/ adjective 1. lacking the power to perform physically demanding tasks; having little physical strength or energy. synonyms: frail, feeble, puny, fragile, delicate, weakly; liable to break or give way under pressure; easily damaged. This is the dictionaries meaning of weak. How we...

Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I posted anything, but I felt a strong urge to post this. I have had just about enough of this Anxiety. The life I am missing is really starting to take its toll on me mentally and phsyically. I'm tired of missing out on life, shopping, holidays to go any...

Hi, I've tried exercise twice now to see how it would help me, the first time it was mostly stretching and the occasional walk. I did feel better mentally and phsyically, but I stopped when I had to push further to gain the same amount of satisfaction. I self sabotaged as well in the forms of...

So I have been thinking about having some time out from my family maybe for like a week. To accomplish what you may ask? I am very one confused person at the moment and have no real idea which way is up or which is down. I'd really hate to be a scuba dover right now. Or am I just being...

Yes as a toddler I did try. 3-4 yrs old I believe, it was also when the abuse started to happen... new partner of my surrogate was my abuser It sickened me when I realized only a few years ago, when I started working on the trauma, after a turbulent year of disassociating and depression I...

I've had agoraphobia for the past 16 mths. I can't go anywhere without shaking or getting anxious... I broke from too much pressure put on me and now I can't trust the outdoors just incase they ask something from me. I'm terrified. I'm also extremely emotional that my family suffers becasue...

Hi all, Im sorry, but I need help, big time. I betrayed my husband and my vows to him 2 yrs ago abouts, we had a d day valentine's day 16, I've been mentally ill for the past 16 mths and while I've been off work he has carer duties to me. Ts also been the time I should have shown him how much I...

Playing games online is escapism... so what is he escaping from...? The trouble with gaming is it can be better than life, there is no realism, he can make his world the way he wants it. As does his online gaming buddies.. Saying that though, do you ever just sit next to him and watch? Get...

We didnt speak or have anything to do with them for another 3 years after that. . 3 years my daughter only had one grandmother her Dads mum.. thank goodness she was a much better role model for our girl.

Ok, so there has been further developments on this as our broken family adjusts and people expectations. And to be perfectly honest I'm not sure I want to take part in this party..... As far as I've been made aware my Lil big brother is expecting me to be civil around the surrogate when his...

So i am sitting in the car while my husband and daughter get a few things for me from the market.. this is because all the way into town i was silently melting down... i didnt listen and went into the pharmacy for my top up meds and by the time qe left i was an emotional mess... I see theae...

I get wonky vision and what you have described above, however my intergration of alters seems to have diminished my protection and I go full anxiety and panic attacks. One way of making me deal with things I guess..

Don't you worry @Muttly what you've written is what I am feeling right this moment. The endless confusion the endless worry, it all gets too much for one brain. So your not alone with these feelings .. not at all.

I'm freaking out... I can't seem to control my emotions, I'm agitated, restless, angry, mad, sad, and right now I don't know what to do about it... I want to get in the car and drive and drive til I'm tired then come back again... it's this work thing, I haven't put in a medical certificate in...

Your not delusional, you've just tried to make it work. You want a happy normal life there is not delusion in that. As a society we've been trained to love our mothers regardless... however in Einsteins words.... if you keep doing the same things over and over expecting different results that...

Just cut her out. I do aplogise for my post, I am not in a good mood at all and it stems from my family. . Bad dreams.all night long. .. If you don't want to do it anymore, then cut the woman out of your life. Why should she darken your doorstep at any time of the day. She is deluded to think...

This morning I found out that my littlest older brother is going to become a DAD!! He sent me photos of the pregnancy test... I cried so much! I asked if I could be a proper aunt. .. unlike his uncle role... But still... it is an accomplishment becasue he told me, a massive win on my...

At least you told someone!! Lmao... when ever my daughter gets some recognition or awards... we're the last to know and we have to drag it out of her... :confused: at least now the high school she goes to sends out text messages when she receives something so now we have fun asking her ... oh...