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Haha, yes I see now that i was being extremely vague 😃 I’m referring to my memories, flashbacks, etc. Not sure what else to add…

Why do I constantly doubt myself? It’s literally slowly driving me crazy

I do have a T who is simply marvelous. T gives me grounding techniques.

Fascinating… the beliefs you grew up with. I was taught as a child that babies choose their parents but that’s it. I understand & logically agree with you mostly. My problem is that I don’t think I ever said “no”. As far as I can currently remember I never uttered a word. During or after to...

But how do I do that??? I can’t seem to get angry at the abusers… I’m just angry with myself for letting it happen

Not a grammar thing. I do think it makes me disgusting. Said on purpose. Extremely embarrassed. Both my parents separately??? It’s gotta be me.

Thanks. Working on getting a government funded place for myself but it takes time… Boundaries? I just try to ignore her as much as possible. But my anxiety is going through the roof… constantly I may sound defensive here… I’ve had a recurring nightmare since I was about 8 years old. And mother...

I hate to come on here just to complain but… I am 🤷🏻‍♀️ Recently recovered more memories of abuse as a kid and this time it’s mother (& a brother). I’m constantly telling myself that I’m making this stuff up. I don’t know why I am but… T tells me it’s normal when the truth is too scary to deal...

I feel a heavy rock on my chest. Constantly. I’ve had anxiety my whole life but this is worse. My employer/doctor/father figure just suddenly died. I wasn’t doing well before this happened but now??? I just can’t. Totally stopped eating. Brain is mush. Each morning I wake up makes me feel so...

THIS. This stings. Because it’s true. I’m just not strong enough

I appreciate your responses but don’t have mental energy to respond now

I apologize for not being clear in my original post. I didn’t mean to post the part that I’m actively pursuing suicide. My question (& fear) is having to see him again. I just didnt know how to write it without adding that part. My sincere apologies. I hope I didn’t trigger anyone 😢

I’ve had suicidal ideation for the last few years now on a pretty constant basis and I’ve had it my whole life (since about 5/6 years old). Here’s my big fear: my father sexually assaulted me as a child. He’s dead now, I never got to confront him when he was alive for various reasons. I don’t...

Thanks all! I didn’t mention it & all went well

What’s more beneficial for me? Will they treat me better or worse? I’m going in bc I fell in my back… but anxieties rearing it’s ugly head

Thank you, thank you! You are SO kind to write all of this & im so much detail… I can’t tell you how much it helps/soothes me! I will try all your suggestions… they were all on the spot :) I just want to clarify one thing: when I said I can’t talk to my cousins about this I didn’t mean my...

So within the past few weeks I’ve recovered so many memories of being molested as a child including one of the molesters (my father). It’s been hard, tumultuous but also so rewarding that I’ve finally managed to remember concrete things. Two days ago my uncle died. My father’s brother. He’s the...

Yes, some of them have said that. It just hurts. And I’m not even sure why

A few months ago I finally found a T that is great. Has helped me clear up a LOT of memories which is what I need now. I can now say for certain that I was molested by at least 3 different people. 2 of them I’m not sure about yet so I don’t & won’t say anything about them. But the 3rd I know...

Involuntary. And thanks for the info

I’m so sorry you went through this :( I don’t think you’re dispassionate at all! Even though you’re in “robot mode” you’re still reaching out to help someone else… that sounds like a whole lot of compassion to me. I greatly appreciate it. And understand what you’re saying, feeling...

I didn’t go into detail so I will now because I’d like to know if what I had was a flashback or something else. the trigger was rain and thunder. Out of nowhere (I was in middle of washing my hands for goodness sake!) my eyes closed & I was transported to a horrible & scary traumatic memory...

I’m so sorry you had such a hard day :((( I can’t. When it’s over I’m discombobulated for like 24 hours. Tried watching something but kept having to rewind because I couldn’t focus so I got frustrated & stopped.

I thought I’ve had flashbacks before but what I’ve experienced over past few days… this is NEW & scary as all hell :( No strength to go into details (not sure it’s necessary anyway?). Just looking for help/advice/ANYTHING that’s helped you regulate after flashback is over. I have no control...

Good to know about sharing suicidal thoughts… although I’m still nervous about that. You think it’s possible to get the pain meds if I drastically lower anxiety meds? (It’s klonopin… u got it right :))