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I've thought more about the relationship tonight. He's always had a thing for me, my brother killed himself back in 2019. When we got into a relationship, he said he wanted a serious relationship with me, even mentioning me moving in with him. The thing was that stuck out to me, I was crying a...

I tried to start a new relationship. Everything was going great between both of us, he wanted a serious relationship and I wanted the same thing. We we're together for a few months even. I think I may have trusted him too much though because he ended up breaking up with me, and I didn't see this...

The last TV series I watched was Creepshow on Shudder. I am truly loving this series and glad I decided to check it out.

Last night I got decent sleep and had no nightmares. I woke up feeling really refreshed. :)

I'm eating healthier than I used too. :)

I realized that all my symptoms regarding me getting abused was alerting me to leave my abuser, but I still believed everything he said when he said I was crazy and needed help. I used to blame myself for this, but I've come to terms that none of it was my fault and now I know better. To trust...

The one thing I'm proud of myself is not abusing pain pills anymore in order to numb PTSD, and my trauma. I was literally trying to self-medicate myself and in the end I'm glad I stopped and got the help and support I needed from my family. I've come a long way and I'm glad I'm not trying to...

Ever since I got of my abusive relationship a few years ago, I noticed I get lots of tremors, especially with my legs. My legs will constantly shake up and down, until my Mom tells me to stop or someone mentions it to me. My brother has noticed it through the process of my healing. It's gotten...

When you really don't like being touched and how uncomfortable you are during sex scenes in movies. You can't look at the screen. Instead, you just look down at your hands and hope it goes to the next scene soon, because of how uncomfortable it's making you feel.

Last night I slept wonderful. I'm really glad that I'm getting better sleep now. This is something I'm very thankful for now too.

I remember in the past I used to do this a lot and it was very awkward for anyone else, including myself when I realized that I was doing it. Anytime I did it, I felt really embarrassed, but I also felt really alone. I wasn't getting therapy and had no support or anyone to talk too about...

Hello and Welcome! :)

I'm planning on looking into that this week. So I'll see what's around in my area. :)

My family for supporting me. ❤️

This is a symptom that I've been feeling for a very long time now. Depressed and isolating myself from the outside world. Because I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore, I have no idea who to trust or know who's okay to talk too. Survivor of Domestic Violence and he did so much to me, that I'm...

This morning I drank orange juice and milk. Food I ate, french toast. :)

Right now I'm thinking about my older brother Peter and missing him dearly. This whole month, I've been grieving over him and still can't believe he killed himself. It makes me sad anytime I see my Mom sleeping on the couch and blaming herself for his actions. I keep telling her that it's not...

I can't stand when people shout at me, but I remember there was a period where I was so angry, and if anyone seemed threatening to me or I felt unsafe around someone, I would become very very angry and shout. It wasn't because I wanted to hurt anyone, I was hurting inside because I was through a...

I have such a hard time trusting people. It's as if I am always looking for triggers and thinking the person is going to do me hard. Sometimes when I think something bad is gonna happen, I can feel myself slipping away and dissociating. Pretty soon I am angry, moody, and assume the absolute...

I'm getting a therapist soon, I'm relieved about this. I told my Mom about it for the longest time and she sort of downplayed everything. Does anyone else feel more alone when they're around family? I feel misunderstood around my family due to my abuse. They all want me to simply get over it...

I feel like I am already dead, I know this sounds dramatic but it's how I feel. I'm always in pain, crying, feeling alone, having panic attacks, and looking over my shoulder. No longer feel safe and don't know who to trust anymore. I keep blaming myself for being raped and feeling stupid for...

I noticed my Panic Attacks are increasing. I'm healing and I know I am getting better, now Panic Attacks are happening. No longer feel numb, which is good, I felt numb for almost two years after being raped. Now I am feeling panic attacks, so I think I may have to start to meditate more...

Due to me getting abused by my ex boyfriend, I've been grinding my teeth a lot. I don't even realize that I'm doing it. My niece has been staying over here ever since she was younger and has woken me up and told me that I've been grinding my teeth a lot. Told my Mom that I need a sleep guard...

Lately I'm beginning to pick up on my triggers. Most of it has to do relating with my ex and the things he loved to do to me. I remember as I was with him, he would always put his hand on my butt, all the time. It became almost bothersome after awhile because he would be right near me, like...