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I never had an Anniversary come up before. Especially where I knew what it was about. This is the first time that it's happened to me. It's all relating to what happened to me, rape by my ex. Remember everything so clearly and I remember sitting down listening to music and I remember my heart...

I Realize That I have something to live for. That I'm not this crazy person my ex used to say that I was. Everything he said was a lie and that I was becoming abused. For so long I tried to lie to myself and not want to see it. Now that I see it and working on my inner self, that I'm working...

Right now I often write in my journal. Writing helps me so much. This is what I do when I am alone in my room. Anytime I feel stressed out, I will color in adult coloring books, this helps relax and I feel happier each time I do it. Expressing art connects with my inner spirit and inner child...

When you have nightmares and night terrors, often times I sweat and wake up crying. Once I am awake, I have to tell myself that I'm okay and safe, that nobody will hurt me.

Welcome, this place is very helpful and many people here will understand. Hope you find this place useful for you.

The panic attacks start for me too, anytime I am interested in anyone new.... I will have horrible anxiety attacks and my whole body begins shaking and I feel like I can't breathe. I'm glad you posted this up. This makes me realize I am not alone and that it's normal. So thank you. I will bring...

I want to be able to feel safe again, for me it's scary. My ex was a Narcissist. I know not everyone is like this, but sometimes I overthink too much and constantly feel fear, not able to know who to trust. There's some days where I feel okay. Than I get triggered by words and I cry and panic...

I was talking to one of my brother's friends on the phone. He's been comforting me about my brother's death for awhile. Only he did something that triggered me. My ex always acted hot and cold towards me, I was noticing it with my brother's friend. My mind gets confused sometimes, especially...

Anxiety will randomly come to me at the most random times, I have no idea where it comes from either. If people asked me what am I so nervous aboout... I literally have no idea why. My body will just shake and I keep myself guarded. There's times where I sort of sit very close together and keep...

Thank you for your responses and understanding this. I'm glad I finally decided to share this. ?

Many people wouldn't watch horror movies. For me Horror Movies help me. This may sound strange to everyone. For me, it's an escape. I can watch something where it takes my mind off of things. None of it triggers me which scares me, but I always feel relief watching them because I sort of can...

Yes, I cry often and feel very very sad. I know my sadness is linked to my PTSD. Anytime I cry, I always end up feeling better afterwards. Before I used to beat up myself for crying, thinking I was weak.... but I know none of this is true. Crying is good. Bottling things in makes it worse. If...

@berlinda I'm glad you understand. There's not many people I can open to about this because, they simply don't understand of what it can do to you. Many people believe that you can simply get over things like that. I get affected by it still and I left him about a year ago. Recently got into...

My life is forever changed, I don't feel like the same person anymore. I have a hard time trusting people. There's many men who I feel attracted too, but when we get close, I freak out and flashback's start coming. There's also been times where I will shake, break down crying and I feel like I'm...

I'm feeling very lonely this year. So many things is happening. After the death of my brother, I'm unable to feel happy and my PTSD has gotten worse due to his death. My mood swings are all over the place, I'm either happy or sad, there's no in between. Today is a good day, tomorrow I can be...

Ever since my brother has been gone, my niece has been avoiding me. I miss my brother very much and been crying a lot. I'm constantly worrying about her and hoping she's okay. Now I feel like our relationship has changed because the death of my brother. She's very distant and not very friendly...

It's a poetic name that I used for PTSD and my deep dark depression. I came up with it when I started to become open about my PTSD and Depression. Blue is another word for sad. Weeping is another word for crying. Rose simply because I love flowers and roses and I always look at flowers and...

I'm asking my mother today to set up an appointment so I can see my therapist again. I just recently stopped since he was talking to me with dealing with panic attacks and skills to do when I'm having a trigger. So yes I'm planning on going again. Thank you for reaching out to me. It means a lot...

My body has been shaking and I've been having lots of anxiety since I found out about the death of my older brother. There's times where I've been dissociating and I feel like I'm in a dream state. I feel like this is all a big dream. My older brother committed suicide on the 27th of this month...

When people say "I'm only joking." when clearly their not....

Relaxing, ambient music. :)

Water. It's what I've been drinking a lot lately. I'm staying away from caffeine because it doesn't help my moods.

I avoid sex. I know this is too much info, but once I masturbated and I cried afterwards. Than my whole body started shaking. So now I try to avoid sex or masturbating. There's guys I like or who I'm attracted too but I'm scared that they'll use me as a sexual object or rape me. I'm scared of...

I love pizza. I love movies. I love music. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my hobbies and interests. When it comes to falling in love, I have a hard time. Even when it comes to sexual things. Ever since I was raped, things just seem sort of distorted and I'm not able to get close to...

I'm feeling content right now.