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I have been stepping out. I don’t know what else to call it. My days have been going so well. Why? Because I’m stepping out and controlling the situation. I’m totally okay okay with it. And doesn’t seem to do any harm. Has anyone else experienced this? Should I tell my therapist?

My PTSD was dormant for about three years. Then about eight months ago it’s snuck back up on me. My meds were all thrown off. Trial and error with new medication I finally think that I’m on the right dosage. Praying to go into “PTSD remission” soon.

Yes. The best decision I could have made. They immediately got me to the hospital and even sat with me through intake.

I have never had a monster under my bed. You made the choice to climb in instead. The countless acts of “love” you share. To this day left alone and scared. Around every corner and down every track. Searching for my innocence I’ll never get back.

Thank you guys so much! It is a huge accomplishment for me! I can’t wait for month 2!

Thank you for the kind words. I have made so many changes in my daily life. DBT has been a life saver. And my therapist is the absolute best!

Since January I have been hospitalized 7 times. Today marks one month I have not hospitalized. :) I am working hard each and everyday to keep it that way. Standing strong and riding the wave of emotions as the come and go.

I lost my innocence. Not once not twice but more times than I can count. It was becuase of bastards. Bastards who wanted to hurt. I lost my innocence and gained pain. On the day you first touched me. I lost everything. Lost my innocence. Lost my life. Lost my happiness. Lost my way...

Silently I cry for help, All i get is a whispering breeze, I cry for help, for mercy, for love, I want to get out, i want to be free, I try and scream, but nothing comes out, I’m disabled, I’m hurting, I’m longing to get away, I cry my tears of sorrow, But no one will know, I’m yet to be...

I struggle daily. This letter was hard to write because now I expect myself to make the changes.

my homework this week was simple. Write a letter to your inner child. Little did I know my inner child was still broken, bruised, and alone. I would like to share just a piece of my letter to my inner child. Because just seeking my inner child was an accomplishment I hold dear I want to share...

I have noticed some help with my mood swings. But the depression is still overwhelming most days. And when it’s not depression it’s mania I hate asking for new meds I feel like a drug seeker. Ugh.

Today I have Drum Therapy. We meet for 3hrs once a week. All of the members are very close because we have shared a journey that is unbelievable. I love this day. I look forward to this day every single week. However this week has been rough. I have been pacing my house. I was very manic one day...

I am on a short list of meds Sleep Nightmares Anxiety Depression Mood stabilizer I am working hard on noticing the good days. And you are right there are good days. But even at the end of a good day I sit and criticize myself for actions through the “good day” that triggers a bad night. I...

This week has been the most difficult to say the least. Over the last six clients I have a been spiraling into a more depressed state that I found myself before starting therapy. They say things will get worse before they get better they do. I find myself every day watching the clock counting...

Great job on those accomplishments! I find myself secretly high giving on what seems so small. Small to others huge to us!

Thank you. It is just a tender part of my broken heart.

June 25th. Five years ago I gave birth to a beautiful blue eyed sleeping baby girl. Too precious to keep in Earth. I am struggling today. I want to leave this place and see what’s next. Is my baby girl waiting for me? Why can’t I be happy in the next life and not have it considered suicide...

I have been on a very good stride for the past month. Making public outings. Actually attending invited events. We are supposed to go to a theme park today. Today I woke up... just not having it. My anxiety is horrible, thoughts are racing, and I just can’t. Their response. Go get coffee and...

I sit here wondering today after engaging in self harm. I tend to watch children’s movies immediately after self harm every time. I am scared to talk to my therapist about this infuse she will have me hospitalized for the self harm. But I’m trying to find the connection. I feel as though I...

What do you like to paint? I tried painting my garage wall and it looks like a five year old got ahold of crayola paint and a bag of skittles I love to sew children’s clothing!

May is mental health awareness month. I personally battle with diagnosed anxiety, ptsd, and depression. It doesn’t mean I am always sad, and I may not always appear to be struggling. Opening up about our internal difficulties is a fragile process. Those battling mental illness don’t need to be...

I have only been writing about trauma for about six months. It is something that we can’t touch in therapy so we started therapeutic letters. They are hard to get through. Sometimes it takes me a whole week to get through one letter. When we used to do talk therapy on the trauma I would shut...

Sometimes things are even hard to write down. In fear of someone will see it. In fear that I will read it and destroy it. Some days I work so hard on filling my daily journal with current and past pain. Why do I feel so less than when I use my journaling as a coping skill? Why do I feel like my...

A letter to my inner child. Thank you for being so dang tough! I couldn’t imagine surviving what you have! Today I am weak and weary thinking and healing from all this pain. Pain that you have survived. Pain that no one should have to go through. Standing where I am today I am blown away with...