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Hey everyone so I feel I am having flashbacks of my abuse but in different forms , it happens when I am with family I talk like a four year old I tell my siblings I want four and I'm scared of my dad 1 I say I want to be a little girl 2 I cry when I see younger girls 3 I say I'm scared of my...

I agree on this but unless I runaway which I mean is a big risk because I have a heart problem also I still have siblings and my dad is still in my life I don't know how to get away if I blame someone for something I have no solid memories based off then that's not a good thing either I don't...

Thank you for checking up on me if a bad therapist is bad then get rid of them it is not good to stick around for no reason I totally get the whole feeling powerless thing I feel like i haven't gotten better even since going through my therapists etc being alone i totally get that i gave up on...

Hey guys I just wanted to send a post I have been really badly struggling with my dissociation episodes and I feel like ever since I lost my memory at sixteen I can't look back on my past with clarity none of the pieces seem to add up it's like a messsd up jigsaw puzzle when I lost my memory...

Making the leap to go back into therapy it's frustrating because I know I was sexually abused when I was younger but I can't remember ( I have slight memories but I don't know if they are real or not so I don't know how to cope) I feel like my inner child is still protecting me from the person I...

Thank you for replying back I think I'm just terrified to open up about it because I don't have all the details I thought it was my father but he is still in my life I'm also really scared to tell him about my recent self harm episodes I think it is because I know I will have to face the issue...

Hey guys I don't know how many people on here have difficulty with self harm but I am finding this to be a problem for me since I was seventeen I have different reasons why I self harm and different states why I do it but at the moment I'm fine during the day and then at nighttime I self harm...

Hi guys I was really badly bullied at work by my cousins and now I feel really judgemental about people like I can't see the good in them and I am really closed up. I also get really judgemental about looks I never used to think this way before hand and it is really annoyjng me because before I...

Hi guys I feel like nothing will get better for me. I had not the best appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and it wasn't the answer I was looking for. I think he knows some sexual abuse might have happened to me but he is not saying it. He mentioned how my childlike voice was due to my...

Thankyou ?

No we are all grown ups and they go to university sometimes we go home on occasion they don't have the same problem as me though like none of them have the childlike voice I am just terrified to mentioned it to my psychiatrist because I think I will just be so overwhelmed and start talking about...

Hey guys so I have my psychiatrist appointment this week again as it is every month. I wanted to express to my psychiatrist my fear of my father and how I feel it might have been him who abused me when I was younger my only concern is confidentially I also feel like I'm going against my dad...

Right now I have the exact same feelings I've given up on my recovery because I feel like the universe or whatever doesn't want me to recover I call it the horror syndrome not ptsd anymore because literally it is like I'm stuck with the horror forever I will never be the same person ever again

I have this issue to but I feel as though I have to love myself all over again before any guy can get close to me I've had lots of abandoned issues too and bullying so my self esteem is all over the place I can't remember my abuse I guess trust is making your body feel safe and for me to feel...

Hey guys so I know I need a new therapist but I have been avoiding it because I'm scared what it will unearth for me e.g (my father issues, I have been having creepy dreams about this and I am scared to tell my therapist as he might think I'm a complete weirdo!) I know my body wants to get...

Thank you i hate this so much i just want to heal and be able to trust people again it is so unfair i am not healing it's like i am at a stand still, and i have a bad relationship with my dad now because i am so scared of him, i realised that living on my own has lessend my hyper arousal...

Hey guys this will probably be my last post on here because I've really stopped caring about my recovery I'm fed up of having false hope. My mother confronted me about my dad the other night and she asked me what abuse happened between the both of you all I could say was that I know something...

Thanks guys for all your help I spoke to my psychiatrist and told him about my issues with my dad it's weird because my childlike voice comes out when I spoke about him although when I was younger I had a lot of intrusive surgeries with doctors he agreed with that and he took on board what I...

Hi guys sorry for postinbon here again I currently can't afford therapy and this is the best place I can kind of talk about these things. I just wanted to ask if you good trust your body with memories. I have no memory of my abuse but my body feels it everywhere I know you said you can get...

Thank you guys I really don't know what I would do without this forum it has saved my life once or twice more than any therapist has obviously something is keeping me here because even with my heart condition I still feel like I have to keep going ?

Thank you so much ♥️

Thanks can you give me an example of this at the moment I'm trying to reduce my self harm and waiting for my psychiatrist appointment this week I'm nervous to talk to him about it I don't really know how to start the conversation with him to be honest

I feel really hopeless at the moment nothing is working to help my trauma I keep hitting rock bottom and I feel really like no one can help me. My low self esteem and low self worth has returned I can't seem to manage my self harm or find a good therapist my eating habits are really bad and I...

I gathered it was because he was a dominating male figure he actually confronted me that he would never do that to me and brought up the subject as a child though I used to find him very scary and he would like shout at me and stuff but he said he would never hurt me and he seemed pretty honest...

Thanks guys I had a pretty awful weekend my dad confronted me to say he never hurt me he had tears in his eyes I feel in my heart he would never do anything but I was running on this line because I wanted some clarity of my memory loss and who could have abused me now I feel like I will live...