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Dissociative states getting worse

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I gathered it was because he was a dominating male figure he actually confronted me that he would never do that to me and brought up the subject as a child though I used to find him very scary and he would like shout at me and stuff but he said he would never hurt me and he seemed pretty honest about it like my dad never cries and he had tears in his eyes but I know that I was abused I think it's just because my dad is the closest male figure in my life that my brain automatically went to him because I can't remember anything else accept maybe that I could have been abused in hospital I know that I was 10 years old when it happened from therapy
 
From my experience I have settled that memories do help to gain an autobiographical narrative and put trauma along a understandable contextual storyline. This can help to make sense of it all.

However trauma can be processed without knowing what happened. I have found by trying too hard to find out what happened I ended up getting in my own way, I now simply notice what arises, how I felt, what I needed and what I can do now to heal. I would urge you to trust your judgement, avoid jumping to conclusions and try to find corroborating evidence if you feel it’s true. Sometimes the image we get during memories isn’t the full clip but a single snapshot and it often doesn’t have the context. It’s all very difficult but I feel patience and trusting the process is the best way forward Imho.
 
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