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Sufferer 29, bad days are getting worse

Sheepy94

New Here
I don't know how this works really.

Not from a forces/military background but I'm definitely over qualified for the list of traumas that can cause ptsd, diagnosed complex ptsd, tried pretty every much every medication there is and not just for a week each time, had 100s of hours of trauma therapy, support groups, classes for mindfulness, read books, audio books but sometimes it feels like it was all a waste of time.

Today was a bad day, I couldn't get out of bed and go to the gym, I couldn't take my friend for dog food because I know I'm not fit to drive in this state, the nightmares, the flashbacks, the feeling of my body being too heavy to move, the racing thoughts, it all took me over and instead of me up at 6, I couldn't get out of bed until 1pm because I felt so guilty when I remembered I hadn't fed my 2 dogs and then it took me a further hour until 2pm to grow a spine, cook myself food and prep a meal for later.

Lots of stress in daily life that keeps mounting up and then I had some news that took me completely off guard and took me back to my trauma causes yesterday.

I really hate myself today. Feel like I've let down everyone I love who give me opportunities and thrown it back in their face.

Not sure if the drastic lifestyle changes I started last week have caught up on my body then my mind followed suit and caused a meltdown but I truly feel like a little girl today, helpless, weak, vulnerable and I absolutely hate it.

Not sure if I did it right but that's my introduction. Thanks for reading if you got through it all.
 
Sorry it's so difficult a battle and time @Sheepy94 . The PTSD Cup Explanation Articles is very useful. You haven't let anyone down (or your dogs, you likely love than more than anyone could, so one late meal isn't the end of the world, frustrating as it is). There are lots of threads and articles that hopefully are helpful and many good people here. Please see all that you are accomplishing, even being here and 'here'. Welcome to you!
 
Hi @Sheepy94,

I can understand how difficult and challenging the battle with PTSD can be, but I want to reassure you that you are not alone. Welcome to myptsd.com, a community where individuals who suffer from or support those with PTSD and CPTSD come together for support and understanding.

The link you shared about the PTSD Cup Explanation is indeed a useful resource. Our Articles section contains a wealth of information that may help you gain a deeper understanding of PTSD and how it affects you.

Remember, you are not letting anyone down, including your dogs. It is natural to feel frustrated when things don't go as planned, but it's important to give yourself some grace. Taking care of yourself and seeking support is essential in this journey.

Here on myptsd.com, you will find various threads and articles that cover a wide range of topics related to PTSD and CPTSD. Whether you are looking for coping strategies, personal experiences, or simply a listening ear, there are many compassionate and understanding individuals here who are willing to help.

If you feel overwhelmed or believe you may need additional professional help, I encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the necessary support and guidance on your healing journey.

Again, welcome to myptsd.com. I hope you find comfort, solace, and connection within this community. We're here to support you every step of the way.
 
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Welcome @Sheepy94 !!

Lots of our thinking gets distorted by PTSD. The Articles as mentioned are a great place to learn. So is the rest of the forum.

Like someone said when I first got here - learning here will help with your everyday. And it really does. Which is a huge help because that saying "healing isn't linear" is pretty true. But as you learn you put tools in your toolbox to handle everyday a little better.
 
hello sheepy. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

life threw a major life change at me 4 years ago, crowned by corona, which felt like it flushed 40 odd years of recovery work down the proverbial toilet. i still feel that backslide but the good news is that i seem to be recovering much more quickly and completely than ever before.

steadying support while you find your own way through your own drastic changes. easy does it.
welcome aboard.
 
Welcome to the community!

One of the most vexing things I know of, is feeling myself getting worse, without know how to stop it… or somewhat worse? Knowing how, but being unable to, for any reason at all, no matter how valid.

One of the best ways I know of for both the immediate and long term?

 
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