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I can feel depression setting in again. I can't seem to stop it. It feels like I am drowning slowly. Every morning I dread getting up. Yet I pretend everything is ok at work. I am exhausted pretending. Just not sure what Fondo next

November is rough month, with several anniversary dates coming up as trigger. Often wonder what life would have been like if grew up in normal house. 18 years ago one worse events of my life happened. After leaving abusive relationship, he stalked me at work, left notes on car, threatened to...

Last week had apppointment with psychiatrist. She suggested that in order to stay mentally healthy and balanced working part time would be the best option. I have been on LTD for 18 months. I have professional degree and most people in my field in fact work more than 60 hours a week. For me...

My psychiatrist mentioned that although I have been in therapy, I have not processed trauma yet. I am not sure what she means by this? Many of incidents I actually blocked out or dissociated. Does she mean remembering what happened by processing?

This time of year is not good for me. I know it is very triggering, plus physical symptoms as well. Lots of migraines. Lots of nausea. Lots of flashbacks and nightmares and time lost. It feels like am drowning many days. Just so worn out. Anniversary dates take alot out of me.

I have this inner critical voice just won't let up, used to be able to block it out. Almost like it is sabotaging all progress have made in therapy. I am not sure what to do Also been diagnosed with DDNOS and Complex PTSD, seems like such a struggle all the time

I usually am able to keep it together at least at work. It is busy time and I am in accounting, so deal with numbers/spreadsheets all day. There were some errors in formulas that impacting board reports. I owned up to the error right away and my manager was not impressed, although she was...

I told psychologist how I was feeling. I'm really depressed and lowest point ever. Not sure why. She asked and was truthful for once. She asked for permission to talk to psychiatrist. I signed the form. But now not so sure that was good idea. Psychiatrist could hospitalize me, and I am...

I had terrible stomach flu last night, I called Therapist in morning to cancel appointment. Her office manager called saying that I will be charged for missed appointment because was less than 24 hours notice. I understand cancellation policy, I know therapists need to get paid. But I...

So my T wanted to try somatic experiencing. I was alright at first. I was relaxed and feeling fine, but my body was feeling numb. My T wanted me to become more aware of what was feeling. So tried to be more focused in what I was feeling. Then my left arm starting aching and stomach felt as if...

I am fighting the urge to stay in bed all weekend. I go to work and then get home and go to bed right away. I put on happy face at work, which takes alot of energy. There is no real reason for me to feel like this right now, no major crisis going on. Yet facing mornings are getting...

I will be 40 on Dec 3. This makes me sad. Why? Because at 40, don't feel like have accomplished much. One thing I really even wanted was my own family and children, that doesn't look like will happen anytime soon. Spent last 12 years trying to battle PTSD and Depression and Anxiety. Out of those...

I asked for copies of session notes because insurance denied std claim. So I am debating whether or not to hire a lawyer to fight it. Just seems so exhausting at the moment. Anyway, lawyer said she would need session notes, so I got copies yesterday. Reading them made me sad. I don't remember...

I am usually ok with Halloween, it is not a particularly triggery day. However I do get triggered when someone sneaks up behind me. Which is what happened at work today. Walked into my office and co-worker who was hiding behind door jumps out and scares me. He was dressed as grim reaper. I...

After burning out at work, working 70 hours a week, with little sleep and barely able to concentrate, plus boss calls me idiot when cant stay late at work. my psychiatrist put me on medical leave after I broke down in tears in her office. She filled out all necessary paperwork etc. After...

I am not sure what happened today in session. I was filling out disability forms with doctor, she was asking me questions and was getting stressed about the insurance forms. I had talked to insurance adjustor and she made me feel guilty about taking time off work. I feel like I should be...

My counsellor asks me this all the time and all the time, "What do you need right now?". I don't have an answer. I don't know what I need. Never did. Only now it is bothering me when she asks me, because feel like a loser not knowing what I need.

Went to psychologist yesterday, was telling her that felt discouraged because feels like take one step forward and 10 steps back. She admitted that she is frustrated with my case and the challenges that come up. She is not sure what to do next. So now what? If she doesnt know what to do, I...

I have therapy tomorrow with psychologist. I asked for this appointment. I know I need help. Yet everytime I get there I freeze. Not sure why that is. I trust her. But it is like my mind goes blank. I can't even make eye contact with her. Then I feel more guilty because I think I am...

This was posted elsewhere...but though I'd post it here as well. I am glad I found this forum. I haven't been with my ex-bf in years, yet he still haunts me most days. Not sure when it will all end. I don't even know how it all began. He was so different in the beginning. But once we moved...

I am having terrible flashbacks and panic attacks. Fall is always bad time for me, and Nov 11th is worst day. It is ironic, on Rembrance Day, I remember yet, but not soldiers, I remember another battle, a battle I lost, a battle where part of me died and ex-boyfriend took part of my soul...

It happens all this time this time of year, even though i tell myself this year will be different, happens again and again and again. He won. It is hard to go through this "anniversary". Don'thave energy left sometimes

My doctor had family emergency, so all appts cancelled for this month and July. The receptionist said something about her daughter and sounds very serious. I feel very sad for T :(. And part of me wants to send a card or leave a VM, but would that be appropriate? I am also feeling very...

All of this is so scary to me and so out of ordinary. I like things to be logical and in control and right now am feeling so out of control. Like not knowing what I am telling T is session is very frustrating to me, because how am I supposed to get better if I dont even remember what is being...

It was difficult session and at the end of session, just wanted to leave, so I forgot to ask doctor for refill on cymbalta. I don't see her for another 2 weeks, but have only enough meds for 1 week. I left her a message, but she isn't calling me back. I am panicing and dreading going...