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  1. Calm in the chaos

    Going back to the only home I’ve ever had

    If anyone’s read my diary, you might already be familiar. But, I grew up around a group who taught me what I am. It was externally important and Godly in nature. To cut it short, I learnt to because a robot to them. Punishment with pain so I’d learn not to feel it. Godly acts and sacrifices...
  2. Calm in the chaos

    Uncontrollable thoughts about my purpose

    I’m not sure if this makes sense. I am a little dosed up to my eyeballs on benzos and pregabalin, I have constant thoughts about fulfilling my purpose to have sex with whenever wants my body and have painful sex until my soul leaves my body again. They find my soul through their connection...
  3. Calm in the chaos

    Unable to find words and make coherent sentences, lasting for days

    I originally posted about this in my diary, but I think if I make a separate thread it’ll be easier for users to see. For the past couple days I haven’t been able to speak, like I haven’t been able to find any words/not being able to string a sentence together. Like I know what I want say but...
  4. Calm in the chaos

    Finding A Therapist In UK (for dummies!)

    Hey! I'm looking for a Therapist (UK) which I've never done before. All my Therapists up to this point have worked at the Hospital/Placement that I've been at so I've never had to look for my own. I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to get myself a 'private' Therapists yet, I just want to keep...
  5. Calm in the chaos

    Sufferer Hello (: CPTSD, looking to not feel so alone, as I may be moving out on my own.

    I never know how to introduce myself, but I wanted to write something somewhere as I've just joined. Here seemed like a good place to do it. It was my Birthday yesterday, I think right now I'm just lucky I don't get hangovers yet lol. It was good actually, considering the UK is still in...
  6. Calm in the chaos

    Untranslatable Words

    The idea of starting a diary is something i've contemplated for a while now, and I think I'm finally at a point in my journey where this will be pretty beneficial for me. I feel like I am at a point in my life where I need to heal, rather then spend the rest of my life running from my Childhood...
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