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It usually happens in the evening, maybe when something triggered me: Fear of noises, every quiet noise feels like there is someone there, and not just anyone but someone specific. While I rationally know it can't be, I still feel that way. Severe anxiety and panic. In that moment I have...

11 years ago I was in a trauma clinic. It was a very important and positive experience on a relational level. However, I only recently recognized that there was a lack of insight and explanation. I was in the art therapy group. The first time I was there I could not/didn't want to paint and...

Feeling different and thinking differently. Like if you are depressive you feel and think different and you might have ups and downs, but it feels more complicated than that. It is exhausting. Because I never know how I really feel about something. Maybe you could call it mood swings, I really...

I recently had a session with a therapist where I went into high tension with trembling after talking about a difficult topic. She did a mindfulness exercise with me, I had to focus on my body, etc. This made everything worse. That picture of me sitting there and focusing on my body somehow is...

I don't react to quiet noises anymore. However, I noticed that I can't cope well with anything happening suddenly or in unexpected ways. For many months now, I've been trying to avoid sudden spikes. I suppose I've become very controlled without even realizing it. This is somewhat embarrassing...

I might have finally found a therapist that would work with me. It took 3-4 years of searching and it is really important to me to get help. That therapist works in the same office as the child therapist of the daughter of my best friend (I didn't know that before making the appointment). They...

Today I had a very unnerving experience. First what really happened: I was waiting on the platform and an older man walked passed me and looked several times at me. An everyday experience. But my thoughts and feelings were strange. Short backstory: There is something in my past that is either...

I don't even know where to start. Given the circumstances I can manage everything well. But the people around me can be a real burden and it hurts me to say this. I already set more boundaries, the post is more about how that insecure environment affects me. My father is an alcoholic. I blocked...

I found an interesting study about selective mutism, it mentions an "unsafe world" model. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00702-021-02404-1 This relates to how I even feel today as an adult despite not going mute anymore. There was only one therapist who understood my behavior as...

I had a very difficult time over half a year ago, something triggered me. After weeks of struggling I just fell asleep while staying conscious when something was too much emotionally. My head nods forward, I start breathing heavily, and it looks like I'm asleep, but I'm still conscious. It only...

I have been in therapy many times, starting with age 16. Most therapies weren't helpful at all, especially the therapies I did when I was younger. The issue was that 1. Therapists mostly didn't want to work on the stuff I carry from childhood. 2. They were focusing on the social anxiety...

It is unbearable. I told most of them that I'm not well but they are unable to be considerate of me. Despite knowing that I should say "no" more often I helped too many people and too much the last weeks. I think, and this is no exaggeration, that everyone I still know has ADHD. No offense to...

Is it still a trigger then? For me it is a name. The first time it was a name plus the word and after that happend the name only was enough to trigger strange thoughts and anxiety. The worst is the feeling that he is there, which I know is impossible. A week ago my mother said the name and I...

Therapists told me to attend a clinic for trauma therapy. I have social anxiety and I have had some bad experiences with group settings and clinics and I don't think any therapist will ever take me serious with this issue. They might think it is negative thinking or whatever but in the end it is...

I have been struggling for years to find a therapist. Today, I had another therapy appointment. At first, there were some positive aspects: she encouraged me to talk as much as I could and wanted to, acknowledged my inner tension, and took everything I shared seriously. She even brought up the...

I had a horrible experience with a therapist, I already made a thread about it but I think I wasn't really able to explain why it was so bad. I make it short here: It was invalidating, condescending and retraumatizing. After that probatory/trial session I was suicidal. I had no concrete plans...

I know that memories can get fragmented. However I never read anything about someone suddenly having a sentence "pop up". When I was triggered there suddenly was a sentence, something I would not think of myself. It was clear that it was early childhood related and it was unrelated to that...

I need therapy since 3-4 years. It is hard to find or even get on a waiting list for a therapy where I live. I have exactly one therapist I am waiting for to start therapy, I am waiting since a year and it still will take like 6 months. She is experienced and offers EMDR. After the first...

I don't know why. I suddenly have strong anxiety in the evening. The day can be great, I go to bed everything still is great and then I turn around to try to sleep and the anxiety hits. I never had it like that before. Yesterday was the worst, I could not close my eyes despite being tired as...

I lived alone with my mother, my parents separated when I was 2-3 years old. My mother struggles to control her emotions (maybe because of ADHD and/or childhood trauma), because of that I wasn't safe. She screamed at me very often and over and over, it never stopped like after a minute but took...

I don't really know where to start because I am under stress since years. I need therapy since 3 years and I am still on a waiting list. The therapist assumed a trauma-related disorder with recommendation for trauma therapy and EMDR and I didn't even tell her everything. Some stuff is easier to...