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Hi Ayesha I hope you are doing ok. Your disclosures about your struggle to come to terms with your German heritage have really resonated with me. I was just thinking, instead of being always pre-occupied about Germany's most recent horrible past history, why not immerse yourself in positive...

Reading your post, Radise, I was struck by not so much that you say you suffer from egocentrism, but that there is a tendency to generalise about people and paint them all over with the same brush. "They are all like this...or like that". Maybe it has been a self-protective thing for you? You...

There are truly genuine souls out there, who know what is valuable in a person. They do not go for the superficial things in life, they are looking for someone to connect with on a soul level.I don't mean to sound so esoteric, but what I guess I am trying to say that there are genuine people...

Miss_Understood, it sounds like you have had to bear a lot of prejudice against your sexual orientation. It is just my own belief that our Higher Power does not have any prejudice towards us like that. You love and that is all that counts. You can only fix yourself, you cannot fix anyone...

Welcome Silmarillion. You will get compassion and support here from others who have been exposed to similar trauma. You and your sister sound very close, having been through painful things together. It is a strength that can serve you both, that there is someone who bears witness on your life...

Please don't give up on yourself, dear Miss_Understood. I wish I knew the secret to self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-love. My husband will say things like you said in your above postings about himself. No human being should have to say such things about themselves. No one should have...

I find the same in my case Aj1. Maybe we get drawn to individuals in such pain, as we have some of our own emotional pain buried down way deep inside? This was definitely the case with me. It seems pre-destined now that I felt so strongly attracted to my husband. I identified with his great...

Dear Doublelife89 Wishing you healing and peace. I have no other words at the moment, I just feel so sad for your losses.

Beautiful! Well done, and good for you dear Bedbug. By the way, I just love that "funnyface cat" in your Avatar. Makes me smile every time I see it! :happy:

It is so affirming, so very, very wonderful to read about hard-won personal successes on this forum. :tup:

Dear Aj1, there are many times that I feel that I am on the brink of losing my husband, and that emotional pain cuts like a knife. I cannot imagine the sense of loss you must be feeling. I think in our case, supporters of such traumatised individuals, a break-up of a relationship and the...

Dear Saedhilian What a history of childhood trauma, abuse and neglect your postings tell us. You were raised in the most invalidating of environments. My husband had a similar start to life, in a completely dysfunctional family setting with multiple abuse and incest, pills being forced on him...

Dear Crow88, Arfie makes a good point about the whole "filtered thinking" thing: don't let this incident and others like it, be the only things that define you. You are so much more than that! The matter at hand is one of finding a way for you and your partner to deal with this aspect of...

Thanks reddevil1111, I get what you say and I appreciate the insight. Don't mean to hijack this thread (but seem to be doing so anyway, sorry sorry). Just want to say, my spouse is not a vet, ex-military or anything. Just a product of extreme childhood abuse and trauma, leading to a highly...

Thank you Nomedic1, your analysis of your own situation is a very interesting and enlightening one. It helps me understand a few things about my spouse's situation, too. But, I still ask myself: why does someone (seemingly of their own volition) gravitate to chaotic, violent, war-torn...

No need for apologies or explanations, or much less, smacks to the head. :wacky:

My spouse is facing similar self-hatred, shame and utter recrimination and regret for things he has done. He has taken lives in certain situations. He applied to become a mercenary once, but thankfully that plan had to be jettisoned before it even came into being. This is a terrible reality to...

Is reflecting on oneself and one's life and wanting change and peace and love and forgiveness, not a sign of some good within yourself? A sociopath or narcissist gives not one iota of thought to these things. Those are the only two categories of humans, that probably have no real good in them...

Yes, Amethist. My spouse stopped taking his Tegretol CR and Lamotrigine 3 weeks ago. Said it makes him drowsy, low energy and lazy. It was prescribed for suspected epilepsy and Bipolar Mood Disorder. I just take the approach of "live and let live" lately. What else can one do? I will not...

I recently started reading about our personal "Lovemaps", ie how each individual develops their unique set of wants and needs in regards to intimacy and sexuality. There is also such a thing as a "Vandalised Lovemap", ie those who were violated, sexually abused in childhood. Not having been...

Dear Mike, it sounds from your writing that you are a good and honourable man who has tried to do what is right in life. A Traumatic Brain Injury in addition to the PTSD of returning from multiple war situations over 11 years, is a difficult thing to deal with as it (the TBI) can also bring...

Wolfie205, you were betrayed by your mother for not intervening in this cruel child play of your brother. For not noticing how this type of child play is not healthy and normal and for not stopping your brother. Your brother was betrayed by her too, as why was he acting out this type of...

Dear Cabernet88, life has really dealt you a lot with the passing away of 3 family members/friends and having to deal with the funerals and grief process. And being a single mom, finishing off your studies and having the pressure of having to find work. Can you perhaps not just strike off...

Just ask them to be there for you as much as they can. Ask them to look after themselves too, as it is hard to watch someone in the throes of suffering when there seems not a thing anyone can do about it to ease the pain. You do not need to explain everything all in one go. There is just...

Thanks so much Junebug :tup: