11 Weeks Of Dr. Jeffrey Schwarta' 4 Steps

[bankhead]

I'm too new to post links but I will add them when I have been here sufficiently.
One post is found by googling Scwartz and 4 Steps
The other website is the name of the book written as one word: You are Not Your Brain

I read Scwartz' book The Mind and the Brain, some years ago and found his 4 step process to connect well with me and yet for various reason I have found it very, very difficult to implement until now. I have lived in an indescribable paralysis by which the very things that would help me out actually created a intensification of my already off the charts anxiety. So goal setting only made things worse for me.

I have had no luck in getting therapist or anyone to understand how that actually worked and why it was so debilitating. Some how, by some miracle I have managed to break through that so now I can use these 4 steps to tackle the omnipresent anxiety (GAD) that is triggered by anything and everything.

I would like to use this thread to journal about my experiences. If this is not an appropriate use please let me know.

The first link I posted gives a description of the process.

Here is my personalized version of how I will apply the 4 steps:
re-label that is anxiety or an anxious thought (not me)
re-attribute it comes from long past events - it is a rutted brain
re-focus I intend to match to a higher vibrational frequency (light, love)
re-value Impartial Spectator (neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so)

I am on Week 1, Day 3.

Week 1, Day 1
Spent the entire day basically refocusing. Activity actually took me away from my focus on matching to the higher energy and I would slip into that anxiety but as I refocused I was lifted out again.

Week 1, Day 2
An excellent day. I was actually able to work on creating order for the first time in months and months. (The anxiety and the self-attribution of devaluation has paralyzed me for several years particularly around the issue of creating order, overcoming mess.) It was a very good day but as night came I slipped back into anxiety forgetting to refocus.

Week 1, Day 3
Woke up after a night of a series of dreams evoking my worst fears. Clearly time to step up this 4 step process. Reviewed Schwartz' writings about how difficult the first weeks are. As I put me full attention on the steps I am lifting up again.

Opening up the anxiety and anxioius thoughts without repressing them, in an of itself is so helpful. As I visualize the light shining on the newly opened festering sore I feel immediate relief. As I do this I experience a rush of anxious thoughts, memories, pains come rushing in. At first I feel overwhelmed but I put my nose to the grindstone and open all of this up to the light (thinking the words and visualizing the process). I am encouraged by the experience two days ago and I am ecouraged by remembering that Scwartz says it will be difficult but that persistance is the key. I do have confidence in my persistance. So I will put as little on my claendar as possible for the next week as I open my self to these wretched old thoughts and experiences. I no longer choose to repress.

I look forward to writing here again tomorrow. The connection and collective minds is the greatest soother for me. I feel comfort being around other humans, online or in person. I am moving on but having a difficult time breaking the contact. Time to use the 4 steps.

 

[Girl3]

I am going to read the book. My anxiety is the beast that slays me. Thank you for sharing this.

 

[bankhead]

Girl 3 anxiety is the same for me. I marvel at how long it took me to understand that I even suffered from it all the while it choked the very life and hope out of me.

Week1 Day 5
This is an up and down journey, especially the first week. I am finding all sorts of varieties of angst and slime hiding under rocks I had not even been aware of before. This takes a particularly acute exercise in awareness, staying "on" as much as possible. That is tiring though interestingly less tiring and draining than the constant strain of anxiety. I am presently in an on-off battle like a lightswitch between two opposing factions. But I reason that on-off is an improvement over a perpetual state of ON.

Each day I am finding it easier to switch out of the anxiety. Though I know this is an up and down journey. Today I am glad that I am able to more easily switch out of anxiety into a higher energy. There are so many levels. So even as I focus on the higher energy I am aware of another strain of anxiousness operating in the background. For now that is tolerable. It is sufficiently lower than the norm (the debilitating). I can operate at this level. Yesterday in fact I was able to address two actions that normally are so off the scale for me that I simply cannot do them or anything else - couch ridden for days. But unlike much lieterature on overcoming anxiety, pushing through it on one incidence does nothing to mitigate it for me. This 4 step process is helpful. It allows me to first of all acknowledge the anxiety which I have been suppressing purely for survival reasons. My levels of anxiety have been beyond intolerable. So just that first step of acknowledging and allowing the anxity to be present is significant. But it is the second step that gives me some freedom - naming it as an aberant brain function. That is a simple statement of a complex process. In fact, each day I am spending about one hour making this switch so that I can even get out of the bed.

Today, I am beyond thankful that I can open up and look at my anxiety and the traumas that generated it. For most of my life that has been nigh impossible as the shame of it all produced yet another horrific layer of anxiety - utterly paralyzing and impenetrable - until now.

 

[Girl3]

Thanks for your post. I haven't made it to mile marker 1 of my journey.

 

[bankhead]

I have held on to the theory that I can't save $100 unless I save $1.
IOW every penny counts and the first are without a doubt the most difficult.
But even as they start to flow there is inevitably a plateau where things seem to come to a stand still.
Perseverence is so key.
That is why I am doinng this day by day 11 week process right here in front of others. It holds me accountable in a very odd way. Not that any one else cares but something about being connected just helps. I have tried to do this process before and neve could stick to it. I can tell this time is different. Don't ask me why. I have always been motivated.