Sufferer 30 Years Of Holocaust Nightmares + Child Abuse

[RavensPOE]

I began having Holocaust Nightmares at age 13.
They have lasted over 30 years.
I wasn't born Jewish.
I wasn't hanging out with the Holocaust by reading about it,
watching scary movies about it, or engaged with the Jewish community whatsoever.
My nightmares began in the month of April--the month of Hitler's birthday.

Prior to my Holocaust nightmares starting,
I was molested/ raped from ages 3-10 by my family physician.

I am a Professor of Graphic Design + Social Media.
I have been teaching for a decade.
A few years ago, my nightmares spiraled out of control--
it was entirely too much for me to handle. I would be giving a lecture
to my students in the classroom--and look up to see them
flickering...from student to concentration camp victim.

In many of my Holocaust nightmares--I am given a lot of historical information.
I do not believe I am the author --as I will run across (at a later time)
either by reading or watching t.v.--that what I witnessed actually happened.
THAT freaks me out...

Up until 2012, all of the therapists I went to were female.
None of them were spiritual, or identified with the energy that I sense.
The energy in my Holocaust nightmares is not the only energy
that I sense...but it is the energy that frightens me.
I would not classify myself as a psychic, but I would say that I am a "sensitive."

I have been fortunate enough to be working with a Chabad Rabbi since 2013--
who is also a licensed therapist. He diagnosed me approximately 6 months
ago with PTSD. He is the only therapist who has been able to get my nightmares
under control.

I am traveling to Israel in the fall of 2015 for a Master's in Holocaust Education.
I do believe, that when I witness the events that took place in my nightmares--
during WWII--that it is fragments of reincarnation.

 

[Tanishq]

Excuse me @RavensPOE, I am not familiar with Holocaust nightmares. Could you please tell me more about it so I can get the idea what you are sharing about it here?

 

[Chava]

First, you have obviously looked into this some (I'd have no idea when Hitler was born). Also, I suppose about 1 in 12 of us are born in the same month as Hitler.

But the connection to molestation/rape seems possible. I've had murder and molestation nightmares that involve myself as a little girl, where as far as I know, I only suffered medical trauma, physical abuse and neglect before I was a teenager. Dream imagery often speaks for us in different ways. Were your nightmares repetitive or did they vary in content?

I'm very sensitive too (like most trauma survivors) and sometimes feel like I'm carrying over generations of trauma, and have also felt I woke up from an early trauma in a varied universe...like when I regained consciousness I felt disconnected as if I came from a different tradition or background that had nothing to do with my family.... though I think it was just trauma response for me. I tend to focus on the here-and-now more because I just want to be "here" and manage my symptoms.

I don't have any opinion on reincarnation. Maybe others here do. I wouldn't know if it's possible or not. But you might find more practical help here for the rape/molestation trauma you experienced. I'm glad you found a therapist who seems helpful and that the nightmares are under control.

 

[RavensPOE]

Excuse me @RavensPOE, I am not familiar with Holocaust nightmares. Could you please t...

In my Holocaust nightmares I am usually a very young teenager--13-14 years old.
I have fragments of coming from a secure family, but am alone in the concentration camps.
I spend most of my time in 1 of 3 places:
A. Standing in line at the gas chamber & getting gassed.
B. Getting tossed into the crematoria still alive
C. Being raped by the Third Reich or watching them rape other children

 

[falling_wave]

I would ask a qualified doctor because it seems the Holocaust nightmares or obsessions are troubling to you. However, this does not seem like PTSD. The trauma you personally have experienced could definitely lead to PTSD but I have never heard of someone having PTSD from an event they were removed from or not part of in any way. Maybe it has scared you reading and studying it as much as you have.

 

[RavensPOE]

I would ask a qualified doctor because it seems the Holocaust nightmares or obsessions are troublin...

I was diagnosed by a qualified doctor 6 months ago--
who has been working with me for approximately 2 years.

I was raped & molested as a child from ages 3-10
by a male physician. 3 years later--I began having Holocaust nightmares
at age 13. Many of which -- where I am being raped by the Third Reich
or I am witnessing other children being raped by them.

According to my doctor--people who return from War
and have PTSD, or have reoccurring nightmares for years
about War --can have PTSD.

How is my case any different?
When a person is witnessing an event--whether it be in reality
or in a nightmare--they still have emotions.
I am no different.

 

[RavensPOE]

First, you have obviously looked into this some (I'd have no idea when Hitler was born). Also, I suppose a...

I agree with you--people who are "sensitive" sense different "types" of energy.
The energy that takes place in my Holocaust nightmares--is the # 1 energy
that absolutely horrifies me. Other "energy" does not.

Here is an example: our property resides on the Otoe Indian trading route.
Their tribe do not live here, nor was their reservation located here.
However, for 3-4 months out of the year--back in the 1700's--
they did indeed trade on the property we live on.

There is one room in our house where the "energy" is different.
We are not sure if a medicine man had his teepee in that location,
or if there are Indians buried in the ground in that location--
but shadows of Indians will be reflected on the walls in that bedroom.
Sometimes, you will be wakened at night to Indians chanting
directly outside your window. The ceiling fan that has been broken
for years will randomly turn on, along with the lights flickering.

This energy? It does not scare me.
There seems to be a mutual understanding or respect between it and us (my family).
Nothing bad or negative has ever happened.
It just seems to be there...in that location of our house.

This does not appear to be the same relationship in other locations throughout the state:
places have been condemned/ destroyed
due to the fact that the "dead Indians" simply do not want the white man
living there." The majority of the reports are that the Indian spirits
haunt the room, house or land--and continuously run behind the white man
screaming and chanting.

We have never had these issues.
I do however, think that one must have respect for the dead...

 

[Chava]

According to my doctor--people who return from War
and have PTSD, or have reoccurring nightmares for years
about War --can have PTSD.

You have PTSD diagnosis based on the sexual abuse/rape, right? That's very common. PTSD does not result only from war trauma. Are you saying you are experiencing past life trauma and not so much this present life trauma? (please know I'm not meaning to discredit anything, but understand better). Have you worked on the molestation/rape trauma in therapy? Do you notice any dreams or triggers more related to that? Also, when you study the Holocaust, do you feel more triggered or more validated by reading about the suffering? What does the study do for you?

From the perspective of someone who understands trauma, but admittedly not past lives, I'd still wonder if your trauma is being diverted or compartmentalized, so to speak, into "someone else's" trauma (I'm almost always removed even in my nightmares because the content of the feelings is too much...I'm watching it happen to another little girl...always incredibly gruesome, containing extreme symbols of energy and feelings I've experienced). Trauma energy and rage are in themselves very scary. I've nearly destroyed myself many times.

 

[shimmerz]

Being someone who would be open to past life issues, although have never experienced it for myself (I have no idea if even heaven exists and just because it is a mainstream belief system doesn't mean it actually does exist), I suggest you get help for your trauma in this life rather than focus on trauma from a past life. It may ease the nightmares you are having from what may potentially be a past life issue.

I am traveling to Israel in the fall of 2015 for a Master's in Holocaust Education.

It almost seems to me that because you are so invested in Holocaust for your work that this could be potentially braiding in with your actual trauma that occurred in this incarnation.

 

[Chava]

It almost seems to me that because you are so invested in Holocaust for your work that this could me potentially braiding in with your actual trauma that occurred in this reincarnation.

This is what I'm curious about as well...and can't put my finger on the word for this exactly. NOT saying past lives aren't possible, but very curious is the present life traumas have been addressed...or if the Holocaust dreams and study overshadows them or allows for distance of sorts (which I'd understand).

 

[Tanishq]

Thanks for explanation @RavensPOE

Sorry to hear you went through such hard time. I have no words. I hope you find answers of your questions. Best wishes to you.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum :)