Hi, Three years ago I escaped an abusive marriage of 30 years. I was forced to have ten children, was raped and beaten down emotionally and mentally, kept isolated and lived in terrible conditions. When I felt my life was in danger and the abuse intensified, I finally escaped. I never thought I would make it and wanted to commit suicide (which was my default way of coping).
I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, I fell apart and my personality fractured. The therapist said it was the worst case of confinement abuse she had ever seen. Well after the poor girls in Ohio, I no longer feel it was the worst. Anyway, I struggle to find work and cannot get training because one of my two remaining children has autism and I cannot leave him home alone for long. I live on a shoestring.
I now ride my bike, dance and walk. It is so wonderful to be alive and I am so grateful to be free. I still have a lot of problems with relationships and social situations because I don't have the skills necessary to navigate them. But I am learning. I still have emotional and mental flashbacks and feel panicky and scared. My ex is still trying to wreak vengeance on me and I have reason to fear. I hope he does not find out where I live. But overall, things are getting better everyday. I have written much of my story and continue to do so. But it is hard to write about it.
One thing I have learned is patience. It takes time to heal. My emblem is an eagle. To me the eagle means freedom. I soar like an eagle now. Thank you for reading my story.
TessyR
I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, I fell apart and my personality fractured. The therapist said it was the worst case of confinement abuse she had ever seen. Well after the poor girls in Ohio, I no longer feel it was the worst. Anyway, I struggle to find work and cannot get training because one of my two remaining children has autism and I cannot leave him home alone for long. I live on a shoestring.
I now ride my bike, dance and walk. It is so wonderful to be alive and I am so grateful to be free. I still have a lot of problems with relationships and social situations because I don't have the skills necessary to navigate them. But I am learning. I still have emotional and mental flashbacks and feel panicky and scared. My ex is still trying to wreak vengeance on me and I have reason to fear. I hope he does not find out where I live. But overall, things are getting better everyday. I have written much of my story and continue to do so. But it is hard to write about it.
One thing I have learned is patience. It takes time to heal. My emblem is an eagle. To me the eagle means freedom. I soar like an eagle now. Thank you for reading my story.
TessyR
