I just want to say that I'm really proud of you guys for sharing so much and helping each other.
I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now lilstar, but I'm also very glad that you have somewhere to come and share those feelings and get support, from lovely people like Nyx, WW, Anthony, and Nicolette.
I hope you get/got some sleep lilstar. Keep fighting the crap, better times are just round the corner.
CB