5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[The Albatross]

1. What I have a dentist appointment tomorrow? (didn't write it down... got a reminder call and didn't budget for it)
2. Whatchu mean you don't know what the price is for two more months of training and why did the trainer tell me to come see you if you don't know?
3. Worried about a friend/neighbor who's losing a friend of 50 years plus... they went to lunch every Friday for years and years.
4. I want my wedding ring back, I miss it.
5. I think my trainer is trying to kill me he added weight to most everything and when he didn't he added repetitions.

This strikes me as pretty darned good... real time stuff... not PTSD stuff, yay me.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Why do good things turn ugly?
Why do some people need to control everyone and everything around them?
Why do I care more about my principles than my relationships?
It's a beautiful spring day.
I want to crawl under my covers and make the world disappear.

 

[Chimera]

People don't look out deep into the river, and so, they underestimated her.
That I've done well not to internalize this.
Coffee is always a fine offering.
I am looking at things...outside of my understanding, much more carefully.
Even Eagles get lonesome.

 

[ladee]

Always , always , let the people you love , know it
Very few great men in my life, lost one today
I see death as the end of this and beginning of the other
I have no idea what the 'other' is
I am so grateful I am able to love

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Wondering if @jaccat and @Junebug have changed laundry detergent or medications lately

Sadly disagree with@junebug about being self pitying ... I think I have a calloused ring on my ass from spending too much time on the pity pot.

The one person who has to be a pain in the ass and brings out the worst in me is a young woman who just happens to have the same name as one of H daughters and just found out she was pregnant and she has the same kind of annoying attitude that I should drop everything I'm doing and be at her beck and call. I was not coddled when I was pregnant, I don't come from that kind of culture. She has this attitude the world revolves around me and no one ever disagrees. I can't do it. So I feel like a bully.

It's okay for the attorneys to be anxious and dump that anxiety on me but they don't like it done back to them. I am a person too and you have no more right to vent that shit on me than I do on you. I think I have a right to communicate this but don't know how.

If I have to control my anxiety then so do they. If I am really part of the team as I'm told. Otherwise you're just blowing smoke up my ass and since you are I want to offer a shotgun.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Sorry for your loss @ladee

 

[ladee]

Thank you @Alice.in.Wonderland , I'm ok... like all the other times... it will hit me later.... it was sweet of you to think about me... sending you gentle hugs.

 

[Marie E.]

I am a bit frustrated.
I am cuddling Loki my cat.
I am thinking sorta future tense for once.
I haven't checked out the 24/7 clinic but it is close within walking distance.
There is s-n-o-w!!

 

[Recovery4Me]

1. I have notice some of my thoughts are not so stellar but they are certainly out there in space!:)
2. I realize sometimes I might lose but it is how I handle it that counts the most. :O_o: *she repeats in chanting mode
3. I am not sure why the attorneys and gov agencies ask me the same question twice, when they ask me if I have an extra income and then they gasp.
4. I can not be the only American that was too broke to save and they make me nervous when they react in such a manner.:meh:
5. I asked each one, if they had seen the vast amount of homeless in our city, to try to help them along with their shock.:happy: Let's get real, you know?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Always , always , let the people you love , know it
Very few great men in my life, lost one today
I see de...

Ladee, I'm so sorry for your loss. Tell me if there is anything I can do to help you through this. ::( :hug:

 

[ladee]

Thanks @Mal Content, I am fine so far. it will hit me later.... then I am sure I will share about it.. Thank you for thinking of me.... hugs

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Thinking since I took off work today my boss # 1 will think "here we go, she can't handle the job" (I was brought into this new position with 1 title and and it's job duties. Since I had been out so long and there is basically a hiring freeze in the government agency I work for, I was started out helping another group of attorneys and the head of that group is my boss as well boss # 2.)

Boss # 2 is so nice but no push over. I respect and like working for her but I want to tell her don't be so nice and understanding with me, it's too uncomfortable and I will just be hurt that much more when I push you to the limit and you stop being nice.

Wondering how I should explain when i do call out it's because I have not been sleeping well, which I never have since I can remember (around 10 haha) but also when the stress toxins build up in me to the point my body becomes inflamed with it and shuts down. There is no official medical diagnosis or name for this but it is my new understanding of what is happening. It's only my way of trying to be honest and not have to use the go-to excuses like ate bad food, allergies too bad, terrible headache ... I want to be honest but is honesty the best policy?

Thinking every time I open the home page and the screen fills with images of cannabis plants I'm reminded how I'm totally out and will be for a while. It is also funny when I am on the train and a nosy person sitting next to me looks at the screen.

Wondering about my use of "substances" think I will post about it but first I have to walk Eddie.