5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Crow]

1. Wish I could sleep through the night.
2. Wish I understood why I suck so much at friendship/connection that people just disappear. I mean I'm the common denominator.
3. Ice cream is a good alternative to people.
4. I'm determined not to hear any thing else that's not there.
5. I suck.

 

[intothelight]

I suck.

Liked your post but don't agree with this part. :confused:

Sometimes it is really hard to find the words to express what you feel and share them with someone that probably needs to hear them.
Need to stop thinking in terms of "borrowed time" as it is just time.
Need to stay focused on the important things family, friends, fun :D
Moods are like fog, and they can lift when you find a little sunshine.
Didn't need it to rain today. :(

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Becoming more cognizant that father & mother didn't have a clue what the word commitment means, & taught me notta re same (hurts!):bawling:
Rage is now my constant companion for learning they were responsible (not me) for their own decisions and actions (inactions too);:arghh;
Food is kickin' my butt & no longer my "friend" & in a battle trying to eat to live; struggling & failing to - take "back" my power:blackeye::arghh;:banghead:
Tryin' to see my own uniqueness that I am precious but brain keeps telling me when I mess up you're a worthless piece of excrement:poop::poop::poop:
Good solid family matrix would've provided stable ground to learn the powers to know, love, feel, decide & imagine; I learned fear & hate:nailbiting::mask::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain::inpain:

 

[Ronin]

1. Damn the four lokos, too.
2. I'd really do better if I just went back to criticizing the policies of Erdogan with The Mentee.
3. Censored & Unpublishable.
4. Personal fight clubs, meet personal hells.
5. Responses to a therapist you won't say; complicated relation to handcuffs & how no, their ideas of safety aren't going to f*cking work with me. (What the f*ck, self? Self concept isn't what people that held you did and said. That's survival, a different S word.)

 

[Tinyflame]

1. I notice with my diregard, or diregard of self and any 'needs' I get kind of where suicide feels not harmful. Because if nothing really matters, there are no losses but no reasons to try to fight.
2. So I suppose that = my thinking sinks.
3. I do think I have to decide to accept facing it and work on letting it go away from me, or give up.
ETA 4. I've been in a lot of denial about dealing with this. Kind of smorgasboard- putting out of mind symptoms I know how to manage, denying the impact of ones I don't control very well- need to do the work.
5. I feel ashamed of myself to need to, or be 'different'. :(

 

[Ronin]

I feel ashamed of myself to need to, or be 'different'.

You are by default homie.
Different, I mean. Just because there's nobody like you.
So it's maybe more about the shame itself, but 'being different', not something to try for, you are already just b/c everyone is different.

 

[intothelight]

Sometimes I wonder if I am being totally honest with myself or if I have told myself lies so much I have learned to believe them?
Am I really living life on my own terms as fully as possible?
Need to really be on my A game today so I can be out early tomorrow.
Body needs to speed up, but mind and mouth need to slow down.
Stay with the increments and celebrate the small victories.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Dreading going to fitness center and working out today (corncob in buttocks a-hole will probably be there spreading his a-hole'ness;
Need to work on homework assignment re irrational thoughts - yukk!
Trying to stay present and so sick of all of this shit!
Know my mind wants to rule the world and can't even figure out how to get dressed this a.m.
Need to just breathe one breath (deeply) at a time and try to stop the frenetic thoughts that seem to roll through my mind!

 

[jaccat]

It turns out that yoga first thing in the morning, followed by a bath, just about finishes me for the day.
I really want to go for a walk in the rain.
The random head pains can just get lost.
Should I write up that poem? I can't do anything with it until I have.
Do I feel tired or relaxed? I don't know the difference.

 

[Ronin]

1. Just staring at that number.
2. That coffee was good.
3. I could ask Mentee'sDaddy about that.
4. Darkness is home, we're not going home.
5. So sad. So much wanting to disappear. So hating I'm alive, still.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My life is either turned upside down or right side up, but either way I am scared of the future
Trying to stay out of my head today with a little success
Took a risk and so far so good
I have a lot to accomplish this month and an unknown future
I am glad I am not suicidal nor sick, I need all of me in order to function.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

1. Made too much, that is one monster bowl of porridge :eek:
2. Need more naps
3. Just had a nap, I'm not allowed more, surely?
4. Heh heh heh, finally got past annoying guy in Chamber of Secrets Gamecube :D
5. Wondering now if it's Chamber or Philosopher's Stone where you can fly the broomstick...:unsure:
6. Also just realised I'm near the snowboard bit in Twilight Princess and will need to pick that back up soon...
7. Rather hope it rains heavy tomorrow..
8. Coming back to 5...My main reason for playing is to get on the broomstick, just as with Azkaban main reason is the Hippogriff Flying and as with OOTP the gobstones.... :clown:
9. Need more food over here :hungry:
10. And siestas :barefoot:
11. And broomsticks and snowboards :ninja: