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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
1. I must be looking good ;):roflmao:as I already have received a snotty glance from a female neighbor with pursed red-orange lips. I had waived to the couple but only her husband smiled and waved back. Seriously...I almost busted out laughing.

2. There are so many campaigners in front of my new location's grocery store. They get mad and mutter, when I say no to signing their petitions:whistling: Some hawk me for a few feet but I ignore them & keep repeating 'No thank you'. It is good practice for using one's words instead of slugging.:angelic:

3. A woman tried to bully me in the grocery store to hurry and choose at the meat counter with her waving her hand like a traffic cop. I told her- to see a doctor about her "nervous tick" (without looking up nor loosing a beat in selecting my meal).:ninja: She quieted right down.:tup:

4. The Catholic Charity people at the thrift store actually held the spirituality of their deity/God. It felt good to be in their presence and brought comfort to walk among the Holy Comforter for a bit after numbers one through 3 above.

5. I think I might like to attend Church...I hope God visits the next building that I try. :cautious: Sometimes the congregations forget that worship is not the same as showboating an denomination or bombarding the new person in the pews in order to 'save their soul'.

Some come right out and ask,"Do you know Christ?" or "If you died today, do you know if you will go to heaven?" I often politely introduce myself, just smile and ignore their boldness, offering gently," Perhaps you might ask Him, next time you pray." :meh:
 
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1. I have a mental illness. It is not as bad as my brothers Schozophrenia or my friends Bipolar as in I appear to function. In the quiet parts of my brain I fight lonely demons. It's exhausting none the less.

2. I like living in the country. Everyday when I drive home from the city, I say goodbye to its people and the problems. It feels soothing. I feel safe here.

3. I am glad I have life to come home to. I have a special relationship with my child. I have dogs and cats that miss me when I am away and love me returning.

4. Sometimes my days have themes. Today I saw several patients with recurring discussion of a horrific murder in the city and the media coverage as horror porn, the role of frequent rest breaks in combating fatigue, more frequent movement in short bursts to reduce pain from immobility, the fact that as humans we NEED each other

5. I am getting screwed by another professional on my team who is using our lack of leadership to enact her personal agenda of hand picked patients and areas by shoveling the shit onto me. Hell no. Going to take action.
 
I have been feeling better lately, and I'm recognizing the progress I've made.
My t wants to start exposure therapy. She told me to think about it.
But then I kind of fell off the wagon last night, drank, and had some of the darkest thoughts I've had in a while.
I don't know why I do this crap to myself.
I'll go on a long, hard run tonight and sort some things out. Turn this back around. :tup:
 
A spider in my garden has made a web that stretches from the ground to a power cable that crosses overhead. It must be 8 feet tall! That's some enterprising creature.
I feel a sense of accomplishment that I've completed a first draft of my assignment a month early. It still needs work but I'm in a good place with it.
Only 4 days left of my sleeping tablets:(, but I'm not going to complain. This last week has been a reprieve from my life.
I've only got one day off in the next eleven. The annual chaos that is stocktake means I suddenly become indispensable, apparently.
For some reason I am convinced that today is Sunday, not Saturday, which is a good start!:O_o:
 
1. It is not a game changer. It is a game over.
2. Praying the pain awai? Maybe.
3. I should have died two months ago.
4. Bro, we are not playing hide and seek, are we?
5. Lil sis, it is a lie I would get to hold you. We would both be dust... and the wind... and a memory, and a nothing.
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot. The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
 
1. @jaccat Charlotte's Web? :) :inlove: (If it says written in it "Jaccat is Terrific !!" it's Charlotte's. And true. :) )
2.
Some come right out and ask.. or "If you died today, do you know if you will go to heaven?"
OMG @Recovery4Me . :( I:eek: . :hug: Shame on them. I'd say "No I don't drive, I'll have to see if my ride comes".
I know you'll be there, the others might take a while.
3. Thank you & for you @The ANP . :hug:
4. It's ok @Naoru . :hug:
5. Christmas thread made me laugh, thought OMG what day is it now? :eek::roflmao:. Many funny thoughts to add but irl this moment do not have the energy, so will giggle along.
6. In seriousness though, am glad I see why I felt it necessary to leave. They say there really are reasons to feel it necessary to. It was because I thought it was 'ok' to stay just because tolerance- by-others-point wasn't at saturation, tolerance being the only factor in my mind. But then I perceived it was (bad for them, only factor). Easy to tip the point, too (to me/ my fault (And it's also nice to know I'm not just 'nuts'/ there's a reason. :rolleyes: )
7. Despite this progress, I've woken up 2 days in a row with my mind telling me, who am I to think that/ I am too burdensome. :( Treated it like anxiety & said a prayer.

1.
3. I should have died two months ago.
OMG @cashew sw this late. :( Am sure glad you didn't, selfishly for me.
Know it's not the same but I'll be a little sister if you want... :hug: :hug: :hug: Xox
Will say them pain goes away, fast & totally.
 
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1: what happens when you've pegged the wrong abuse on the wrong abuser? (does anyone understand that?)
2: hummus (make the "mm" nice and long like a content llama)
3: perhaps i should just insert double m's into every word today...or just randommly doubble soome letters?
4: there is a book on how to make jewelry from cat hair and sell it on ebay.
5: support. to all.
 
what happens when you've pegged the wrong abuse on the wrong abuser? (does anyone understand that?)
Legally, emotionally, ethically or else?

It was still abuse. That perhaps not by the same person or a group of persons, doesn't change the impact, so recovery wise, you just need to keep healing while acknowledging the difference from prior assumptions, but that doesn't change the healing needs, only modifies processing.
 

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