1. I don't think ^^^ matters, above. It does matter, and it is killing me- but it's a temptation to want to think in those directions. And though a solution still is important (because it is killing me with stress and grief), it's better for me and the world at large to try to forgive it and see people differently. Maybe their thoughts or ways will change too (though I'm doubtful). But in the big scheme of things it shouldn't be given more importance, nor hurt me more, than it's worth. And it definitely isn't going to help to think the same way, and add to the volume of negativity or cycle. Which is why distractions are important- not because they're distractions but they're about what should have focus in my life, and not just harm, fear and aggravation from people who have zero care for me or mine in it and would't even consider or remember what they've done nor be bothered by it.
2. That's a long 1st thought. ^^^
3. I wish my life wasn't dominated by just fear, exhaustion and grief from (in response to) other's actions & my own thoughts and realities in response. It's like a big nebulous negative force that tries to squash and crowd out all the good that is present, which should be what's important.
4. Equally I doubt I have the capacity or strength to just ignore it or not be affected. Even if I forgive it or minimize it, it seems to have already done it's damage.
