A Different Perspective On Flashbacks

[Meadowsweet]

When I've got into such a state that I experience intrusions and flashbacks, I tend to beat myself up about it. I see my pathetic self lying on the settee panicking and shaking and unable to get it together enough to be 'normal', and I feel humiliated, weak and like I've failed to manage life and am a wreck of a person.

The effect of beating myself up like this, is that it adds to the distress and continues it long after the worst of the symptoms have subsided.

My symptoms have spiraled quite a bit recently. But my therapist gave me some literature about flashbacks, how to cope with them etc. And one bit of it says that flashbacks are a sign that you are on your way to recovery and that you are becoming strong enough to deal with past abuse.

Seeing it from that perspective has helped me to think more positively and not give myself such a hard time. And it feels like there is a distinction between times when I'm not well, and the times in between.

I just thought I'd share in case other people can get something out of it too.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

I like that perspective. Another thing that helps me not beat myself up when I am having anxiety is asking myself whether I would have compassion if it were another person who was going through the anxiety. Of course the answer is yes, so why not be compassionate to myself? We are usually much kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

 

[therisa]

So very true, Life_in_the_Mist. Something, I am trying to give myself that permission.

 

[Powder]

Abstract shared a link to a Dissociation Wordpress Blog. The psychiatrists on the blog say that flashbacks are "toxic" and really beat us up. They are different from intrusive memories in that they cause a lot of distress.

Maybe when people on the forum are posting that they had flashbacks, they are not being fully forthcoming about how terrible life becomes surrounding that event, which is bad enough in and of itself. Rest assured, it is hard on everyone, and Dr.s are aware of that fact.

I think I get anxiety about memories for fear of having flashbacks, just because the somatic symptoms that follow the flashback endure for weeks, cause distress, cause physical suffering, and emotional distress. So I want to validate you and show you that you are not alone.

((((HUGS Meadowsweet))))

Muse

 

[Powder]

Meadowsweet, I also think that the first ones have been the hardest on me. Subsequent ones are more tolerable and more "gentle" on me. Maybe it's how I'm dealing with them now. I'm not sure. I am accepting and not fighting the memories anymore. I'm taking my medicine. :rolleyes:

 

[Meadowsweet]

The most intense flashbacks, where I have been convinced that I am in an abusive situation, have usually happened when I've been around certain kinds of people. As I avoid people, they happen rarely. I find that flashbacks can be triggered by therapy, but I am much more able to handle those, as I have knowledge about what is happening, and there is no situation to support it (as there is when I've been around people). So I tell myself it is a flashback and I'm safe, and do all the things I'm meant to. This way it is like intrusive images playing in my mind, with all the nasty body memories, but I don't lose my sense of where I am.

 

[Powder]

Meadowsweet,

I find this post somewhat comforting. I'm glad you say that it feels different when triggered in therapy.
But I don't understand "certain kinds of people;" you don't need to clarify if that's too personal or painful. I think I know what you mean.

I, too, have found the need to do that, to separate from certain triggering people who are unhealthy.

Muse

 

[Meadowsweet]

It's not really that the people themselves are unhealthy, it's just that they have similarities to abusers that are unhealthy for me. Around other people they're probably ok people, just not for me.

 

[Powder]

Maybe you're being generous? ;)

I have one person who always reminded me of my abuser. As I learn more about the abuser and this other man, I see there are definite experiences and choices that make them even more similar in actual fact than instinct/intuition would have guessed.

Therefore, the similarity to "you" may be similarity as fact as yet unproven. Just a thought.

They are not mutually exclusive. We never "know" someone else. Everything is a guess, but a damn good one, sometimes.

Love, Muse