A Good Reason Why You Should Never Presume Anything

[amethist]

Yesterday my husbands community support worker was calling to see him, possibly going out for some active CBT near a main road, (Large diesel vehicles are an issue still).

We had made arrangements to go to see hubby's mum after the visit, so had taxi booked and she knew we were going. Half an hour after the arranged visit time we cancelled the plans as he was late, with us saying he had probably put the wrong time in his diary again.

How wrong were we.

He arrived about 35 mins late, and we could see he was in a bit of a stress. So hubby just joked with him about the time, but did not mention anything about our cancelled plans.

The poor guy had called to see one of his other clients/patients a few hours, to find him ill with a really severe headache. He had called the doctor, and was waiting for her to arrive. The support worker rang then again, to be told doctor and ambulance were on their way.

Unfortunately the poor guy passed away before the ambulance arrived, in front of the doctor and the community support guy.

He had then spent 2 hours dealing with all this, but still came to see hubby, because he knew he would be waiting. We told him he should have rung and told us, we would have understood. He said he thought he would come any way, as we would understand, and it was on his way to go get some support for himself, and he always feels cheered up after coming to see hubby.

He did apologizes for off loading a bit onto us, but knew we would be fine with him, and he felt better knowing he could.

So maybe the next time your therapist or any one else professional connected to your PTSD, cancels your appointment or is late. So Please spare a thought for what they could have had to deal with before you., and never assume anything.

It could have been as bad as what hubby's support had to deal with yesterday.

Amethist

 

[Cheshire]

The poor guy.. it's really great that he felt comfortable enough to relate that to you and your husband too. It really is a two-way street in that way.

I'm constantly amazed and in awe of the amount of intense detail therapists can take in and have it seem like it doesn't effect them. I guess we don't give much thought to their own state of mind at the end of the day, when they leave their professional hat at the door to their office and head home to be themselves. Can't remember who said it the other day (think it was Anthony) about therapists burning out, but I can't say I blame them one bit when that happens.

 

[ISupportHer]

It is awesome when people have the opportunity to share feelings with one another. I know that what the TH said was out of the ordinary but TH's are human too. Part of it was his way of explaining the lateness but still nice that he opened up a little with you two. That personal touch adds to Hubby's trust in the TH, I would imagine. You trust those that, in turn, share with YOU too.

ISH

 

[KP the nut]

I guess we don't give much thought to their own state of mind at the end of the day, when they leave their professional hat at the door to their office and head home to be themselves. Can't remember who said it the other day (think it was Anthony) about therapists burning out, but I can't say I blame them one bit when that happens.

My T was on leave the week after our appointment. I asked him what he was going to do. He replied read. I asked what and he told me he had some trashy fiction, he was going to sit in the sun and read escapism stuff to totally unwind from the job.

My opinion - good for him, how they deal with trauma, mine is amazing.

 

[anni]

It was nice that he felt your home was a place of peace for him. He was still keeping his appointment and doing his job, but also must just consider you both as clients and kind of friends also who would understand. That was just nice.

Yes, I never mind waiting in the doctor's office any more no matter how long. It's not through being a saint, to be sure. Once he was running 40 minutes behind and when he did come in explained a little girl had been rushed up there with something poisoning her and he'd been waiting for the paramedics, helping with the parents, talking to the hospital. That was years and years ago, but gave me a whole new way to look at why one waits for doctors and medical people, anyone in the field of helping others sometimes.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think ISH is right, we so often blame ourselves it's hard to imagine it in some way can't be our 'fault'. But no one is a mind reader and everyone can have things occur. I feel badly to even 'expect' people can bear (to hear) what is so difficult to tell.

I think for the very good ones or anyone sincere and committed to what they do it's very demandinding and exhausting. Plus all clients are different- very challenging. And trust takes so long to build. Or perhaps not 'long' but a particular set of circumstances.