A Groundbreaking Court Decision for Vets With PTSD

[Jimmy1]

Mate the most disturbing thing is the people that you call liars who went to Camp Cupcake or whatever you called it and are faking PTSD. The biggest thing we have mentioned on here a lot is 'Why would anyone want to fake this disorder'. It has cost me my career, my family, my friends and a heap more.

I like the assumption that I do "rate" here.

Everyone who is a veteran, whether they have been in Camp Cupcake or Vietnam in the jungle rate here mate.
But I know what your saying. I hate the confrontation when people ask why you have PTSD and where were you and what did you see to cause it. Just walk away mate, you don't have to explain to anyone on here.

 

[SpentRound]

Sometimes I open a box I have that has all the 'medals' and stuff I got for what I did in 'Nam. I'm both embarissed and confused about it. How can you do the job we've done and then come back to the world and get treated like we do. I didn't run away, I did a job no one else wanted to do.

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU DID! Thank you from a Marine whose dad is a Vietnam vet. Sometimes I'm ashamed when I think of my dad - not ashamed of him but of me. I know I couldn't have gone through half of what he did and I've seem to come out of it 10x worse. I get caught between the "if you need help, get it" routine and the "suck it up" routine. I believe you need a good balance of both but I wonder if I should lean more toward "suck it up" sometimes. When I think about what Vietnam vets like you and my dad did, I'm amazed and honored to be considered descended from your generation. I can hardly imagine the mind-f*ck that kind of war had. Thank you and Semper Fi.

For me this place can be like a love hate relationship; I'm glad that I have a place to go and say my piece

I agree except in that I'm glad to have a place to vent when I'm in "if you need help, get it" mode, but I wish I had a place to go around ppl who just get it for when I'm in "suck it up" mode. I used to have a friend like that. He was a huge stress reliever for me even tho we never talked about Afghanistan. He just silently understood and we went about our day.

I sometimes feel like the guy in the greek fable. He did something wrong and for eternity he has to push this enormous boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back to the bottom each time he reaches the top.

Very well said.

 

[SpentRound]

Mate the most disturbing thing is the people that you call liars who went to Camp Cupcake or whatever you called it and are faking PTSD.

If you ask me, they deserve a special place in hell, because it's exactly those people who make my life that much more impossible; because instead of just fitting in with the ones I really fit in with, I have to prove it to them first. By the time I've done that, it's not exactly theraputic anymore, and just leaves me more alone than before I started.

 

[Jimmy1]

But there are these people out there and they also slow the VA claim process up and make it all the more difficult.

We get them on this forum from time to time, and you will work it out eventually. They just don't sound right in what they say, or they try to prove themselves by explain in detail their traumas. 99% of people on this forum don't share their trauma's publicly. They might mention one or two things which haunt them, but the in the most part its a private thing which I hope they will share with their therapist one day. Its the only way to get better.

 

[Anglesachse]

You are allways gonna get your "Wanna be`s" and your "Doers" The main thing to remember is that the "Doers" have proven that they can be relied upon when the shit hits the fan.

At the time you only have to prove yourself to the guys you are on the ground with, Today or afterwards you should only need to believe that you have proved it to yourself. You can`t prove anything to the guys in your multiple when you ain`t in theatre, so let them believe what they want to Spent mate. You have proven to yourself and thats what counts.

Besides, most of us on here are here for a reason, mainly PTSD, and allthough we all say we would go back and all, if we did we would all probably end up biting the bullet, because we are no where near up to scratch and it doesn`t matter what we think about ourselves, we are f*cked up, like it or lump it.

My Medals I was presented with for my 7tours of Duty all ended up in the bin and that while still serving, why? because I eventualy realised that Politics and Military don`t mix. Ended up costing me 3 months in Nick, and a f*cked service record which ain`t worth shit. I don`t need medals to show who I am or where I was, I have a knackered back and have been Certified F*cked up by the Psychiatric Clinic I was in, which prove everything, somethings are easier to talk about because I have been dealing with them with my Therapist or because I still see the funny side, some I don`t, just like Jimmy said.

What I am trying to say Spent mate is. You know what you did, and what you went through! so f*ck the rest. If they don`t want to believe you then you sure ain`t gonna change their minds. At least not until you are in theatre with them, when they realise it`S good to have a vet. with you.

me ranting again.

 

[JarHed]

Hey Spent

Thanks for your kind words. They do mean alot. I wish I had someone that I could hang with and 'talk' to or at least understand 'where I'm at at the moment'. It just ain't easy sometime, but you do realize it's your personal cross to bear. I've always been proud to say I served as a Marine and that I'm part of an honorable tradition. Something that seem to be lacking in general today. Maybe just my years talkin' there.

It's taken me a long time to realize what a long and pronounced affect my experience has had on my life as a total. I does make me mad and crazy at times. The 'if I'da only' always comes to mind. But like us all, I didn't. I did what I did.

The lot of a soldier will always be the same; I don't think it will ever change. I do know that the military, gov't and VA or what ever ya'll have in your own countries could do a great deal to help soldiers to re-integrate to civilian life. But that's fodder for another thead. Fact is they don't and won't. So luckily we have a place like this to come to. It does help. But make sure you get what you need to get a bit better as well. Do it for yourself, you deserve that, we all do. It doesn't matter how old or which war or any of that. We're all here and with everything you've got to be glad of that. Although, I admit some days I wish I wasn't.

When I'm here I feel like 'one of the guys', and that's the best company that anyone can ever have. Be well and Semper Fi.

Jar

 

[Sarg]

Hell, just go down to your local VFW and you'll find more "heros" than you can shake a stick at. Seals, Green Berets, Rangers, they're everywhere, everywhere. Single handedly wiping out an entire NVA regiment and half of them hand to hand.

It's gutless pieces of shit like that that took me thirty years to get rated properly. VA didn't come right out and say but it was between the lines on every denial they sent...Zoomies don't get PTSD! Well, that's the past and I could give a shit. I go to private shrinks, therapists and to Vet Center Group. And try to paste the pieces back together.

That's the bitch of PTSD, all the scars are on the inside and the only ones to see them are ourselves.

Sarg

 

[reddevil1111]

The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. You might feel the need to belong or that your not accepted. If thats true, there is nothing (I do mean nothing) you can do to change minds.
My Medals meant a name I could put with each one. Of a friend who didnt make it or was wounded. I started to see them as a guide to my failure to protect or insure proper training. If only started to be the main phrase I attached to those thought. My misstakes and failures. My salad was thrown away. I dont miss it at all. If it ever comes to a pissing match over my salad is better than yours- ok they win. Gratz and all that.
I know I fought with some of the best men in the world. The best I ever knew. To hell with anyone who tries to say otherwise. Chestbeaters are worthless and untested. I dont think anyone would run around beating their chest if they knew the price some paid. Once you know it the whole issue dies off.
I miss my friends. I would gladly give my life if it brought them back to be with family and loved ones.
Something Ithinkis true for a lot of us. After Combat happened for me...after the first time, I didnt feel like I belonged. I felt out of place and I was unhappy with the whole thing for months. My combat was spread out over time and places. small bits here and there mixed in with a lot of maybe and almost's. Followed up by complete nightmares. I almost wish it could have all been at one time. Each of those smaller times impacts differently. Mostly based on my actions and reactions. I have no clue how guys made it 3-4-5 years fighting in a major war. I cant understand how every single man didnt come back a mess. I am sure most were and hid it as best they could. Sarg is right. it is the armchair warriors that kill me the most. After being there I can tell you there is nothing glorious about combat. And nothing worth bragging about. Let them all be sniper nva regiment single handed killers with only a ka-bar. Me...when I get around them I tell them I was a cook. Keeps it all nice and square. They get glory and I get left alone.

 

[Sarg]

"I tell them I was a cook. Keeps it all nice and square. They get glory and I get left alone." Cool, cool, cool. And I was a wrench turner in a motor pool, got PTSD when a piston came through a head. HA! You got the right "tude", Red!

Just pisses me off when these nobodies claim all this stuff and we know people that came home in a box. Arlington has all the real heros.

Sarg

 

[JarHed]

Arlington has all the real heros.

Amen to that Sarg.

 

[Ned]

The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself.

Yes. That's who you live with. Bloody good post mate. And agreed. If there is ever a chance (Alan's Sarajevo gathering included) of us having a pint together, I would value it. Quiet blokes are the best.

 

[SpentRound]

I only wish I had proved it to myself.

Do any of you ever think the forums make it worse? I've been doing okay the last couple of days and it didn't take reading thru too many posts before I lost it. Guess this is where I'm not sure if the answer is that I need help at the moment or suck it up. Was I doing okay because I was at the point where I could suck it up? Did I break down because I gave in to self pity? or Did I break down because I was repressing it and needed to let it out? If the last is true (I'd like to hope it's not), I pray to God some point will come where I can feel some version of normal again. My dad doesn't let on that he still has any problems and my mom doesn't say anything, but I've met a lot of VN vets that do, which just makes me dread the long road ahead... Good God that was 40+ years ago! How long do I have left?