General A Question For Supporters

[BewitchedBewildered]

I am not sure where to post this. I just want to understand something better that I have had a lot of trouble fully grasping. I saw the below quote on another site and I am curious if it is accurate for those that experience full numbness.

"I remember that I am supposed to feel something, but I don’t- nor can I be bothered to care that I don’t feel anything."

And, if that is accurate, is it constant or sporadic? Can therapy help with this? I heard that sometimes it follows a time of anxiety and anger.

I am also concerned that my ex, a sufferer. He went to therapy for anger management years ago and was, at that time, diagnosed with PTSD. I am concerned that the therapist focused on the anger aspects, but not the numbness that followed. I know he will always have PTSD, but he believes he can never get any better than he is now. I think therapy could still help him. He still has a lot of problems with depression, isolation, and numbness. So far this year he has had major episodes that lasted over 4 months (2 episodes). Also, lots of little ones that seem to only last a few days here and there. Am I not being realistic?

Any insight would be helpful and appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that therapy could help him.

This is my experience as a sufferer.

For me, numbness usually follows a period of heightened anxiety. It's as if my body is in overdrive and says "hey, we can't take it anymore, so all feeling is getting shut down".

This is why I have to work on lessening my anxiety so that in turn, the numbness does not return. Does this make sense?

If he's stuck in the numbness, it may be very hard to convince him that he can feel better. It took me a VERY long time to see this anxiety/numbness pattern in myself, so I know it may take others time to see similar patterns in themselves.

But, this may not be his pattern. It may be completely different for him. I just wanted to share my experience with you. I'm guessing his pattern is anger then numbness? I can understand why the therapist would have focused on the anger in this case, but at the same time I would hope that the therapist had pointed this pattern out to him.

I hope this helps, even just a little bit.

 

[Abstract]

I really hope he gets help. I think its impossible to know how much each of us can heal but I think there is a lot of potential and if I remember correctly he really hasn't had that much treatment at all.

For me numbness usually comes in spates but it has lasted longer at times. I hate the feeling. I am finding there are definite ways to help it. If I can face them that is.

It is either an after effect from intense states or it is a state of mind where I am in severe avoidance and disconnection. I basically wipe out my emotional state in some respects. I also find that some versions of numbness leave me very self destructive. More than intense emotional distress as I have learned how to manage that more.

If you are concerned that the treatment caused the numbness I don't think that is likely but I certainly agree that getting treatment would be helpful. There will be more gong on than the stuff you listed too I am guessing.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Thank you for that input, both of you!

Abstract, I don't think the therapist caused the numbness and avoidance. I just don't think the therapist really worked on all aspects of PTSD, I think he only focused on the anger management and some anxiety coping. That's just how it seems. I just think he could get a little better and, I guess I wanted to know if I was being unrealistic. I guess I just cannot see a therapist saying this is the best you can get. His episodes seem to last longer periods of time that I read about in books following therapy.

Thanks for listening/ reading.

 

[Abstract]

I think there are a lot of people who are constantly in an episode regardless of having had a bout of therapy. See "chronic PTSD". And to me there is endlessly potential for healing and many different types of skills that we can learn to improve things.

I wonder if he has even done exposure therapy. It doesn't really sound like it. The others skills are great but really more like putting a bandaid on a serious wound.

Dead Link Removed

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Thanks. I honestly think he only got help with coping skills. If I ever have him in my life again, I'll do my best to support and encourage him to go back to therapy with someone more specialized in PTSD therapy.

Thank you so much!