A Question For The Community

[Springer80]

How, exactly, do you stop running? Is there a process? What did you do?

I wish I could say I had some control over it, but I didn't, it was out of my hands really. You don't choose to run, you have to and you keep doing it until you can't take it anymore. When I burnt out, I effectively regressed into who I was hiding, a very afraid, traumatised child. And I had to build back up from there.
I helped that my Dad dies last year. I honestly believe that getting rid of trauma is a bodily process, that is dictated to us. We can manage the process, ride it as best we can, but we don't control it. That's why self acceptance is so important.

It finally burnt me out physically and mentally 4 years ago.

pushing myself to be someone who wasn't hurt. I distracted myself with ambitions, arbitrary achievements, relationships, fad, hobbies, drugs, drink, education....the list is long and desperate.

I pushed it down, ignored it, pretended it didn't matter, and slowly self destructed.

 

[Changing4Best]

For me, it has been about a dozen years and I live some 600 miles from where my last trauma occurred. I am doing better than I was, though I am still affect sometimes. That is the nature of this beast called PTSD I think, it is not 100% curable. But treatment and a lessening of the symptoms is possible and has taken place in my situation.,

 

[LilBit]

I thought that was true, but it's not. I know it's not ptsd, but when my stepson was murdered I thought I had made my choice on how to cope with it. I thought as time passed it would get easier, but it seems like you just circle back sometimes and have to choose all over again as events in life happen. Ditto with grief, waxes and wanes. Doing ok, then something comes up to make you miss him or to remind you of what's happening in life that he isn't there for but SHOULD BE. And you go through a spell of anger and grief all over again. It isn't linear. And I'm sure the traumas that cause most folk's ptsd aren't either.

 

[Dana1010]

You don't choose to run, you have to and you keep doing it until you can't take it anymore.

But I wonder if you can figure out what constitutes running for you and choose to stop. For me, there is a lot of what I'd call chattering around my trauma--rationalizing, revenge fantasies, redemption fantasies, inappropriate humor, living as though my enemies are watching me, performing for them, etc.

Lately I have been trying to turn off the chattering--you do it by simply noticing it, you don't grapple or fight with it, just notice. The goal is to become present in your body, and just be with whatever is there. Since I've been doing this, there have been nights where I've woken up in terror, unable to console myself, just feeling consumed by the feeling of fear. I've decided not to try to fight it, but just notice that I feel terrified and let it be.

So do you think it is possible to choose to stop running? And does my experience of waking up terrified remind you of any of your experiences when you stopped running?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It may be true for a few things, but not all.

I mean isn't the inability to get "distance" sort of the definition of our disorder? YUP! Our minds refuse to give us that distance. (Check out the DSM-V if you need to review symptoms.....nightmares (no distance), flashbacks (less than no distance)......I think you get my point.

If distance cured, then we'd all be fine after a few years, right? Well, it rarely works like that. MANY of us have delayed onset PTSD....Mine is delayed by 25 years. If that ain't distance, I don't know what is....

Just smile and nod at her while thinking that she is well meaning but doesn't have a clue. No use even discussing it with her.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I don't have PTSD... anyway... please don't be offended but I think by asking this question here you will get "biased" opinions... because the ones for whom time healed all wounds are not even here.

Why should they post here? They are out there enjoying their lifes.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Lemontree

No one said they were posting here.

 

[Springer80]

But I wonder if you can figure out what constitutes running for you and choose to stop. For me, there is a lot of what I'd call chattering around my trauma--rationalizing, revenge fantasies, redemption fantasies...etc.

Lately I have been trying to turn off the chattering--you do it by simply noticing it... The goal is to become present in your body...there have been nights where I've woken up in terror, unable to console myself,...I've decided not to try to fight it,...and let it be.

So do you think it is possible to choose to stop running? And does my experience of waking up terrified remind you of any of your experiences when you stopped running?

I think there are watershed moments, significant shifts that allow you to get a step closer to acceptance of the pain. I don't necessarily want to pin point hear those milestones. I've never attempted to write all of them down and they stretch over a long period. However, I think that yes, you do get to a point when it dawns on you that you have to through it and not around it. From then, your approach changes. But still I think your body and mind can only take so much aggravation and distress in one sitting and who have to go two steps forward, are forced one step back, you rest and try again.

by asking this question here you will get "biased" opinions... because the ones for whom time healed all wounds are not even here.

Why should they post here? They are out there enjoying their lifes.

I consider myself recovered.

I think 'biased' is possibly the wrong term. Yes most people who post are sufferers but there are people on here at very different stages of process/insight/healing. When a person is desperate, angry and without help, they may very well say that it never gets better. But I genuinely consider myself healed of the condition; I have to start building the life I want but I'm not hindered by the illness anymore.

 

[Springer80]

Why should they post here?

And no, I don't post here very often anymore. :)

 

[anthony]

My question is this, for those that have had this longer than myself, is there merit to this statement? Or is this a kind sentiment from someone who doesn't grasp what it is like to have PTSD?

There is truth, and maybe a little misguided sentiment. Distance does aid in the reduction of symptoms, however; you have to have a fear of the location or something that is constantly triggering you for that reduction to occur.

Examples are many, from military communities, family towns where abuse occurred and the list goes on. If you fear running into a specific person in the location, then you have a reason for symptoms. If something in your location is constantly triggering you, you have a reason.

Moving is typically to remove a percentage of the underlying triggers that cause symptoms to inflate. None of this though has anything to do with the underlying cause of trauma, nor overall PTSD reduction or management itself. Getting out of an abuse location is purely to reduce a reaction, it doesn't stop PTSD and doesn't change your trauma. Very different things.

 

[Nam]

I feel that it's hard to run away from yourself. So, no, I don't think any distance will help.



ETA: I'm still here. With starts and stops. I come here when evolving and adapting are going at a faster pace that I need some additional support. Doesn't mean I'm still in the depths. Many are, but many are not. We are all in different areas of healing. That's why you get a gamut of different answers.