A Real Reduction

[EloiseLandau]

Wow...since I joined here, I've been able to reduce a wrenchingly hard memory to something that doesn't slice me to shreds, mentally.
The contents of a letter from someone I had trusted accused me of malice and told me I was without integrity. It essentially threatened to take away something I held dear....I felt judged, and there was panic that I would be abandoned. And anger.

But here I was able to think of how to tackle those feelings, and diffuse them.
It's a world of difference feeling even a shred better

 

[ronin47]

:tup::tup::tup::tup::tup::tup:

I'm so glad this place was a help to you. I also appreciate being around others who understand what it's like. It's a wondeful feeling to know you are both recieving and giving help just by sharing your story.

 

[maddog]

Wow Eloise, good for you, this is fantastic. Conquering the overwhelming feelings of abandonment and rejection and all that they seem to imply about ourselves and our worth, is sometimes every bit as difficult as the most vile and horrific event memory.

So glad you've been able to safely explore those feelings here, and take some courage, and strength, and progress from having shared.

Hoping it may continue in this vein for you.

Maddog

 

[EloiseLandau]

Thanks you two!

I have a tendency to downplay a lot of things or try to keep it uncomplicated, so maybe it doesn't sound as severe as it was, but this has haunted me and resulted in breakdowns, crying, screaming, reliving the emotions, a sense of being betrayed, and a desire to leave the people closest to me so I would stop "bothering" them.
For someone not use to communicating emotional things, it's even harder to get my meaning across to....just about everyone.
Especially when symptoms spike.

I feel like there's a box of broken glass shards that I was able to pick up the pieces and put the box somewhere where it won't get knocked over so easily now.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

:) I have to tell you, I read your original post, and all I can think is- epic.

 

[EloiseLandau]

:)