I recommend you take something small that you find gives you comfort with you. I know it's hard, but it's important to stay in the now while you talk about trauma. And it's important to take baby steps while doing it. If you try to do too much, it will set you back.
I have what I call my first-aid kit. It is fully the 5-4-3-2-1 game. The bear is small enough I can hold it in my hand and still maneuver my wheelchair. I took at the colors on it. Black, brown, white, red, purple. I touch it’s eyes, which are hard bumps. I feel the nose, which is made of thread. I rub the ribbon on it’s neck, which is soft. I have a spoon placed on it’s chest, and it is cold and warm at the same time. Cold on the top, the handle is warm. I listen to the sounds around me, the air or heater, the keyboard clicking, or even snapping my fingers if I need to. I open the Velcro that holds the spoon onto the bear to listen to it’s sound. I smell that perfume. I make sure I take a piece of candy with me and pop it in my mouth as the session begins. It covers all five senses. Keeps me in the now.
I have multiple traumas, so when working on one, I hold that bear, and when I start to go back, I rub it. My therapist knows this is important for me. He knows I'm struggling, so he makes a point of talking to me to help me stay in the now. When my friends see my teddy in my hand, they know I'm struggling just then, so they let me know they care, and then leave me alone til I am back together again.
I hope that makes sense to you.
