General A start

[FFF8E7]

@Sweetpea76:

Thanks for that way of looking at it! I'll try applying that way of looking at things to any difficult moments this evening, I bet it'll help a fair bit if only I can keep it in the forefront of my mind. Which I guess gets more natural over time?

 

[Never_falter2]

Unfortunately I cannot help with American driving licensees stuff... but have you thought of other ways of learning about the culture apart from asking him? Maybe there is books or you could ask other people familiar with the culture, maybe there is boards for expats.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Oh yeah... it's a huge learning curve. Nobody knows what's going on in the beginning. Then once you get used to it there are still plenty of WTF moments.

Not taking things personally and setting boundaries are HUGE accomplishments. Learning to disengage and not escalate when dealing with lashing out... all that is tricky stuff. Its very easy to become codependent or a doormat in an effort to keep the peace and avoid any kind of stressor. On the other hand, it's easy to throw gasoline on the fire by arguing back, defending yourself, or getting emotional when they're having a go at you.

Just because he is lashing out doesn't mean you have to listen to it or engage and escalate.