Supporter Abusive Girlfriend - Is This Ptsd?

[Deleted member 1860]

Ehhh I'd say maybe PTSD, but not just PTSD, most likely something more like a personality disorder.

You are NOT selfish. She is being abusive, so please don't write it off as this disorder or that disorder and use it as an excuse for her behavior.

My opinion....she needs to seek treatment as well as kick booze to the curb. PTSD and alcohol don't mix for many of us.

I wouldn't be surprised if she had early childhood abuse. Domestic violence as an adult can cause damage, don't get me wrong, but to experience those symptoms to such an extreme, my guess is that something bad happened to her as a child.

If she refuses treatment, it's time to walk away. It's one thing for her to take herself down (not as in she is to blame for how she is, rather failing to take responsibility for her healing ), something different for her to take you down with her. Sadly love isn't enough. I wish you the best.

 

[macca]

It sounds like a terrible situation to be in. I feel for you. I hate to say this, but as Solara said it sounds like a personality disorder. I'm thinking maybe Borderline. Do you yourself have any access to a therapist, who may be able to help you extricate yourself?

 

[intothelight]

Hi Chris,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

I agree with Solara and you might want to check out personality disorders. But regardless of what her diagnosis is, you need to consider yourself and the effect the relationship is having on you. Its OK to love her, but it is also OK to separate yourself from the emotional abuse and insist that she get help before continuing the relationship. Relationships are only as healthy as the people that are in them.

You stated that you have PTSD and I hope that you can find some benefit and the support you need from this forum.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[kahlan]

First, you need to make sure you are safe, and I'm going to echo that it sounds like more than ptsd.

There's no excuse for manipulative or abusive behavior. I unnderstand your afraid if you do go, she may do something to harm herself, but from what i read here, she's already harming herself, and that's not about you. Its about her. Priority should be on self preservation I think then when you are safe if she lets you support her if that's what you want or are able to do, as long as she's making an effort to help herself as well.

 

[scout86]

Am I a bad boyfriend because I can't man up and let the hurtful things she say roll off me!?!?

And why, exactly, would you want to BE in a relationship where there's hurtful stuff being thrown around, no matter what "you" do with it? Seriously! If you can, go back and read what you wrote and pretend someone else wrote it. Is there ANY part of this that sounds like a good thing? Does it sound like the way you want to live the rest of your life?

I have no idea what her problems are and I'm not sure it matters. There IS "something wrong" and I hope she follows through with therapy. My advice to you would be to run as fast as you can for the nearest exit. And I'm totally serious about that.

My short list of previous relationships seems to include mostly narcissists, psychopaths, and narcissistic psychopaths. I'm learning , through therapy, that there are actually reasons for this. (Beyond my suspicion that I had "sucker" stamped on my forehead in some kind of magic ink that only these people can see.) Why you might find a relationship like this one at all worthwhile is YOUR issue, and is probably worth considering. Her behavior is HER issue. It's just not good to be involved with someone who is violent and uses threats to try to influence your behavior. The whole "I'm going to kill myself and it will be your fault!" thing? Been there, listened to that, worried about it, felt responsible for it and FINALLY realized that he was too in love with himself to actually DO it...... That was a real hard relationship to get out of. because he DID have a lot of good qualities and I DID care about him and I WAS worried about him. But, when I finally said enough is enough, it was a huge relief. (He's still very much alive, married to someone else, BTW.)

You can't "fix" her, it's way above your pay grade. Doesn't matter what the problem is, it's hers to deal with. Take care of yourself. Someday, I hope you meet the perfectly partner and live happily ever after. This ain't it!

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I hesitated to say "personality disorder" because I wasn't sure if I'd be projecting or not. My PTSD has a lot to do with a very traumatic and horrific experience being in a relationship with a Sociopath for 3 years. Now that others here have said it, I wanted to let you know that I was thinking it too.

But we aren't professionals. It is my only hope Chris, that you will do what you can to ensure your own safety and seek the help of professionals so that you aren't alone. Nobody can do this alone. We aren't meant to.

And we are here for you too. Anytime you need support, we are here. I hope none of our responses cause you to not feel comfortable.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum.