Accountability Friends! :)

[ms spock]

I am going to see my GP.

 

[ms spock]

Still reaching out for help. Still struggling with feelings that feel overwhelming me.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I managed abusive family coming home from the holidays. I was polite, and then must have been pushed super far because that made me leave the house (which is another positive!)

 

[littlelostchild]

Way to go Definitely - you left the house! :) It can be hard to do that when you have put up with abusive family members in the past.

 

[littlelostchild]

I have been more successful at being grounded. My phone goes off every 30 minutes to remind me to check that I am grounded and I am finding that I am more present.

 

[ms spock]

I am trying to get it together.

 

[Badger]

Today I gave in to all the calls from my physical therapist and agreed to come in for an appointment, even though the thought of being touched by a stranger makes me want to curl up and cry.

Oh I so totally know this feeling. Stranger touch. Possibly the worst thing on the planet for me. Ick. My advice for how to handle this is talking to your stranger and turning them into a friend. If you can't , try and honor your boby's response to the situation and find another Physical therapist. Remember you employ them you can say NO at any time in the process. That is your magic power.:x3:

 

[ms spock]

I went out to an art group.

 

[littlelostchild]

I am going out with my son's fiancé, her sister and my daughter to look at bridesmaids dresses today. I would rather stay home which makes me feel like crap. She is a wonderful young woman who makes my son happy and I should be excited, but I can't get excited about anything. I know I will have some fun once I am there, I just need to motivate myself (even harder when the temperature outside is -12 degrees F :confused:) and get going.

 

[ms spock]

I am going out for a walk.

 

[Leah123]

On Friday I worked from Starbucks for a while because it forced me to contain my emotions a little more, in hopes of making myself less overwhelmed, and having the distraction of people-watching, etc. It was so loud compared to home though, but am glad I went.

Saturday was very stressful, my daughter had a long, horrible, violent tantrum. After working through that, once she was all settled, I reached out to my therapist and gave myself a hot bath to take a breather and help regain some equilibrium.

Sunday, I let my husband do a lot of the housework. Feeling like I have to do everything and can't count much on him or anyone increases my stress a lot, so it was great I let him mop the floor (and other housework)- first time I think he's ever done that!

Today, I'm going to therapy. I told my therapist I am struggling so lately, I need us to have a lot of structure, and for therapy to be my safe space right now, so we're going to work on the DBT workbook she recommended for the first time today, together. She bought a copy too, I appreciate her caring enough about me to do that.

I've been feeling a great deal more stress lately than usual: family issues triggering me I think. Still, I think I'm doing pretty well taking care of myself and my family. I'm doing better than I'm feeling. That's my motto right now. Also... Try. Fail. Try Again. Fail better. Ha!

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I kissed a boy and LIKED it.

I know this is very silly, but because of my traumas sometimes I've felt hyper sexual and other times I'm scared of flashbacks.

I also did it just because I wanted to, and left it no emotions attached.

So I was happy about that- even though it's silly.