Adult sibling admitted he was sexually assaulted

[Olet]

Due to hearing about sexual assault victims coming out in the media, my sibling finally decided to tell me about the time he was sexually assaulted by a male friend, who was being bullied by classmates, when they were teens. Right now, my brain is in shock and surprised about this new piece of information.

 

[Ufu]

Do you have a question or just want to share?

 

[Ijafa]

Hi @olet.. It's horrible to hear such things. Just be there for him... Listen... Support... Don't judge... Maybe he could come on here.... If he wants.
You can learn about ptsd and how to help him.. But the fact you have come on here shows how much you care.take care of you and him.. I'm sorry he had that happen to him...

 

[Adab]

I couldn't help but be struck by the use of the word "admitted" and the phrase "finally decided to tell me". Sometimes, the words we use don't reflect our true thoughts very well. Sometimes they do. I have no idea what you're feeling. I just wanted to say that, on my ears, those two things sound like you feel he's at fault for something, even that thing is only that he didn't tell you sooner. Sharing something like that is a choice, not an obligation. If you're tempted to be upset because he waited to talk about this, you might want to keep that to yourself.

 

[Ricus]

Not so sure @adab. My Vet has the ptsd, not me, but I had a traumatic experience. When I told him he scolded me a bit for not telling him earlier. Of course he did not really heap reproaches. He scolded me only a bit like „hey, why didn‘t you tell your Vet earlier? Don‘t you know he is never gonna judge you and always be there for your“ and that felt good for me. Felt much better than „Pfff, your choice if you tell me. Who cares anyway?“ would have felt for me.

 

[Econih]

@olet knows his/her sibling better and my advice would be to follow his/her heart because we feel what a loved one needs be it be scolded a bit or if he needs to be hugged or whatever.