Advice Needed Quickly

[j458]

I'm really new to this so I'm not sure exactly what to say.

I was diagnosed with PTSD 3 1/2 years ago and now most of the time I'm stable, but I do have bad periods where my condition deteriorates.

I went out on Monday on one of our mad nights out. A friend got really drunk and her boyfriend had to walk her back to our house. However, he had never been to the club we were in and didn't know the way. I had to walk then both back to the centre of town. I was quite drunk myself and didn't realise what i was doing until they left me in town and I was alone. I don't remember much of the walk back to the club and was a mess by the time I got there. My friends then took me home and stayed up with me until I was more settled.

I have been triggered several times in the last few months but it has been along time since I have sunk so low afterwards. My alcohol was removed from my room this week after I returned to using drink as way out.

Now after 10 weeks of living at uni I have to return home on Sunday and I'm terrified. I don't know what the technical term is, but the place where my PTSD started is just at the top of my old road and I don't feel I can go back in this state.

What do I do?

P.s. sorry for the rather long post.

 

[TLight]

Do you have a therapist? Are you being treated?

Welcome. As far as the alcohol goes, well I'm sure you realize that isn't a good coping mechanism. I'm glad you don't have any around.

You don't mention if you have any support. Was your family the source of the PTSD? You say it happened at the top of the road. If there is no reason to go up there, don't.

If you find yourself triggered still, you will need to have support, hopefully from your family. Tell them what is happening if that is safe to do. Otherwise, do everything in your power to create some sense of safety at this time. Tell them, prior to returning home, that you are fragile right now and you require support and need to do things that will make you feel safe. Perhaps that is not spending so much time at the house and visiting friends.

There is a lot of information left out and to have others tell you what to do is never as good as having a medical support system.
I suggest you work on that if you don't have that.

 

[j458]

Thank you for your advise I'm very grateful.

I was in CBT for a while but once I was able to leave my house and return to normal life treatment stopped. My PTSD was not brought on by my family but I dont turn to them for support. I was attacked and my dad was the first to see and take me to hospital. He also sat with me through statements and court. What happened to me broke my dad and once I was well enough to hide it as far as he was concerned I ok. He knows I still avoid particular situations but has know idea about anything else have always protected him from it. If he thinks my minds at peace his can be too.

I think the best thing I can do is to avoid the place itself, walk the long way around the block and keep as calm as possible. I do have a friend who lives a few miles away if things really get too much I know he will let me stay on his sofa for the night.

 

[TLight]

From what you are saying about your Dad, I'm a bit concerned that you may not be processing your emotions surrounding the event because you want to protect your Dad.

Everyone has to ultimately feel their emotions. If they remain stuffed, they cause illness and dysfunction. It is part of your father's journey to deal with his emotions, and you cannot protect him from that by not dealing with yours.

Emotions are likely to come up while you are they and they could likely be extremely overwhelming. You need to take care of you...........

I would think that your dad would want you to heal, and if slowly dealing with the emotions is what you must do to do that.........then I'm sure he's want you to do that.

No parent wants to see their child in pain. But,unfortunately to heal from this disorder, we must own the pain. I emphasis that you allow yourself to feel.........

Your Dad will ultimately have to deal with his emotions too.

Denial is not the way to deal with any of this. Stop hiding..........you will not get better by hiding.

Take care.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I agree with Tlight, and want to add this thought.....Avoiding your triggers isn't a great thing to do either. I don't suggest that you run into them on purpose, to make yourself sick, but facing triggers eventually desensitizes us to them, to the point that they no longer have much of an effect on us.....

So far, in reading just 2 of your posts, you are using drinking, avoidance, possibly stuffing, and denial as coping skills. All 4 of these are BAD coping skills....

I suggest that you try to get back into therapy, for added support, and to learn better coping skills, and grounding techniques, for when things get a bit too much.....