General Advice, Please. Thanks!

[princessx]

My marine had a bad night last night and told me he wishes he never came home alive out of Iraq. He said that everyday is a struggle and he feels like he's about to give up. He feels other men died that deserved to live and he doesn't. Along with saying that it wouldn't matter if he died and noone would be impacted. I did my best at making him feel better and just being there for him (as much as I could via text message because that's the only way he does open up lately).

Any advice? Any things I could do or say? Absolutely anything or any insight from your experiences?

 

[LoyalOne]

Sounds exactly like my Marine. :( (((you))) Substitute 'Afghanistan' for 'Iraq,' and it could be the same man. He wishes he died overseas so at least he could be remembered as having done something brave. As though he hasn't done anything brave. He has a drawer full of medals he hates and doesn't want to see. He wants to trade his life for one of his lost guys.

I just tell him it matters to *me* that he is here, that he is making *my* life better because I know him.

Of course, everyone is different, but my Sgt tells me I help fix things just by listening and by being there when he picks up the phone. I say I wish I could help, and he says I help just be being me and being there.

It doesn't feel like enough, because obviously we can't love them better.

But he does like to sit quietly with me and watch movies. It makes him feel less alone, I guess. I have found that being low stress and low key helps him. I have found that even though he hates being given presents (feels he doesn't deserve anything), little things that show that I am thinking of him touch him a lot. Like little notes. Mostly just being patient and understanding, I guess.

 

[princessx]

Ahhhh, same for my marine. He actually just told me how much it meant to him that I was there just attempting to help and that I made him feel alot better.

 

[LoyalOne]

I guess we have to be satisfied with that. Is yours in treatment? My refuses to admit he can't handle everything himself.

 

[princessx]

No, of course he's not. He won't go because he says therapists don't get it and don't give a f*ck.

 

[Rick Smith]

Try to get him to Angel Fire. It is a GREAT support center in AZ. made JUST for Vets. ABC did a story on it last month and it was excellent!