I hear all that your saying and understand you want only the best for him. You set a boundary for yourself and your needs. And maybe partly because you felt it would help him stay with the program. ( just a feeling I’m picking up. Doesn’t mean I’m right.) but it’s set and you have to follow through, even if it hurts. It’s hard to sit back and watch someone you love, hurt and struggle. It’s natural to want to fix or help that person. As much as we wish we could fix someone, we can’t. We can only fix ourselves and the people we love can only fix themselves. Can we help? Yes, but in the way of being a supporter. To be a supporter, you have to put you first, in order to have the energy and right mind set. It’s the balance of supporting the person we love and allowing ourselves to feel happiness and joy in other areas in our lives. It can help our partners, feel less pressure as they work towards their recovery. I understand how upsetting and at times fustating it can be to send an email and not receive a response. Try a different way to communicate. When you see him at work. Say hi, give a smile. Make it laid back, a minimal response from him. A response doesn’t have to be big. It can be a node of a head, because little or big. It’s a response. No matter how you look at, the relationship is on hold or done in a romantic way. The boundary was set and you followed through. So what does the relationship look like to you now?
Friendship? Co-worker? ect. Once you know yourself, let him know. Be straight forward and to the point. No need to go back to why the relationship ended. He knows.
Saying,” I would like it if we could have ..... this kind of relationship. Then he can decide what he is able to give or not give. Or wants. Sorry your going through a hard time.
