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Afghanistan

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Doghearted

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I'm 18 and have never been to war and I'm not in the military.

My therapist told me I have PTSD and that makes sense because I often have fake flashbacks to the war.

Babies usually trigger me. If their crying or making a lot of noise I have shivers and have a flashback to a situation I've never been in before of something awful.

If they look at me that causes it too. Their big eyes looking up at me causes me to see awful things that have happened to other children and infants.

I usually remove myself from the situation and isolate myself.

I've disconnected myself.

I live in a homeless shelter for 18-21 year olds and there are a lot of women here with babies.

They provide class and I can't go anymore because the babies and I'm so close to graduating. Thankfully the teacher is retired navy and understands.

It could stem from my work in the fire service and the stories I've heard. The stories fire fighters don't just tell anyone. Probably from the stories from the war too.

I need coping skills.
 
Ok.
Huh.

Wild guess here...bad stuff has happened to you directly that you have either minimized or blocked.
...The fake memories are what's called a " screen memory " for actual trauma you blanked out that is personal to you.
...I'm scratching my head over here otherwise.
I believe you, but...it's perplexing.

...since you are living in a homeless shelter, would you mind talking more about how you came to be living in a shelter, and about what you remember of your childhood?
 
Agreed on the point of 'I need coping skills' because being massively ungrounded as it sounds you have been being, can be rather dangerous in reality & lead to traumatic situations and/or worsen them.

But where you haven't been, you can't flashback to, from the definition of flashback (=reliving). You can't relive what you haven't lived.
 
Hello everyone and thanks for your support. The moble site isnt as friendly on my device as it should by and I must reply via desk top. I've been keepin up with the thread and Ive practiced grounding and it helped. I went from a 4 to a 0 as a practice. Naming the fake flashbacks (screening) was also helpful.

I was raised in a bad area and my immidiate family are bikers. When I was 12 my brother died and I moved to Florida with my sister and her husband. Her husband was a non combat veratan of the Marine Corps and a horrible excuse for a serviceman. He and his wife abused me and I beleive that to be the root of my problem. for the first 5 years of me living there he kept my head buzzed in a fade and I was to adress him as "Sir". He was in for 4 years and gained no athority in that time and I think that was him having a power trip.

I was kicked out of their home before I turned 18 (this january) because I woudnt drop out of school and move into job corps (I was in the 10th grade and had no reason to) and I woudnt join the military after refusing to drop out.

I have met Soliders whom have seen war and they ground a basic order into my brain: "Don't join the military"

I took the advice of people whom actually show love for me over someone who abuses me.
Those whom have seen war over a man who watches war movies.

I made the right choice, even though in choosing this I have ended up in a homeless shelter.

I can't reply immidiatly because of the problem with the UI on my moble but I will when I can.
 
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