Sufferer Afraid, But Here.

[Stranded Sailor]

Hi. I'm just entering treatment for PTSD after a year (actually, more than) of waiting. I'm a serviceman that served on humanitarian operations in West Africa during the Ebola crisis. What I saw, I can never un-see. But that's not the bad part. It was the decisions I made, or more, the decisions I made that were overruled and cost lives that haunt me every day. I'm terrified to post this as I worry that I will be vilified for being a serviceman, or belittled as my PTSD didn't come from combat. I just hope, there are people out there that will listen and support me and my family.

 

[scout86]

Welcome to the forum! You won't be vilified here. Too many people living in glass houses for anyone to throw rocks. LOL

Many of the members have PTSD from things other than combat. And many blame themselves for where they are now and how they got there. Really, we all make the best choices we can make at the time, with the knowledge and abilities we have available. Sometimes that works better than others. It's extra hard when you don't actually get the final say.

I hope your treatment goes well and you find the resources you need (here and other places) to help you an your family on your healing journey.

 

[Stickler]

Awful happens. Welcome.

 

[Ka-9]

I have the highest regard for combat stress survivors due to the unique circumstances of it, but then I try to imagine the PTSD or related impact that someone like Amanda Knight or Michelle Berry encountered and it quickly puts the whole PTSD spectrum into unique perspective. I've never seen anything but wide open welcomes from the combat guys and gals on here so I think you'll quickly find that too.

Regardless, good on you for joining and a warm welcome.

 

[desiderata310]

shit.
PTSD is PTSD. At least, it is here.
Something my therapist said this morning struck me because I was putting my own PTSD down because mine is not from the service:
many of those guys that have PTSD who served didn't get it from combat. They got it from all the other shit they saw.

 

[Gs172003]

Welcome.

 

[hodge]

Welcome, @Stranded Sailor. Your service is very distinguished. You saw combat on a different level and it was just as crushing. So thank you for your service and please, please, do not underestimate that. I am so grateful for what you did on my behalf over there. Yeah, you couldn't do everything you wanted to do, but you did your best, and that's what counts.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hello. :)

 

[IamFree]

Hello welcome. I can not begin to imagine what you saw out there. I am sure its stuff no one should naturally ever see. Even combat we all seeit on the newspapers and TV. I hope you find this a great resource. its changed my life in a couple of weeks. i feel so much less alone and so much more supported.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

 

[Kolten]

I'm very sorry you are going thru what u are. U have made the right choice to seek therapy. It will be a huge help to u and ur family in so many ways. U will be thankful and relieved as time goes on. I as well suffer from PTSD and it is a non combat form. I felt the same way u did when telling people about it being fearful they wouldn't take me seriously since I had not served in war. I have actually been just as accepted with open arms of support as anyone else. You came to the right place here for support and im glad u found it. Stay tuned into this website and don't be afraid to mean on people for support. That's what we are all here for is to give and receive when needed. I hope u find peace in knowing you are not alone with non combat PTSD. If u ever are in need pls PM me and I would be happy to help u on ur journey. Good luck starting therapy and my thoughts are with Your family as well.

 

[Stranded Sailor]

Thanks for all the replies... You'll note that It's taken me a while to post - the truth being, it's taken me a long time to re-visit the site after posting it as I was scared what the replies may be. And now, having read what I have in response has made me feel so much better about deciding to register with the site.

Days are still dark, night is still full of thoughts and dreams that scare me more than being shot at... But just had an amazing session with my Psy-Therapist. Nothing has been fixed, but I now know that how I feel isn't my fault - and that's a huge step.