Afraid I Have Schizophrenia

[Scandinavgirl]

Maybe it is just anxiety and mistrust, but last time at my therapist office I got the feeling that my therapist was indicating I got schizophrenia. I do not think he was indicating it deliberately, but several of the things he said and asked for pointed in that direction. I know a little about schizophrenia, since I already started to fear it myself for like 10 years ago or something and therefore read about it. I`ve been reading about it again, I think it is hard to say. A lot of the symptoms are similar to those of cptsd.

I don`t believe I have problems distinguishing between reality and fantasy - although living in fantasy (daydreaming) became a coping-mechanism as a child. I do NOT think I am "something special" or that someone or somewhat is after me or that the end is near (although I struggle with mistrust and black/white thinking). I do not hear external voices and I have not experienced hallucinations.

But I do have this one problem with my thinking - it started about 10 years ago, that`s why I already then feared Schizophrenia. I started to "hear" other people thoughts. Not from the outside, but from inside my head. Only one person at the time and only when we are in the same room talking together. It happens once in a while, not every day, not every week. But under stressful conditions or conditions where I feel unsecure, it is more present. The thing is, I quickly understood that these thoughts are my own. Its always thoughts based on my fears and prejudices. For example, if I fear getting fired, I hear my boss thinking: "This is not working. I will have to fire her". When I hear these thoughts it is confusing and hurtful for a little while. Because when I hear them, I am not 100 % sure, if the thought is mine. So I have to convince myself it is my thinking. It has not gotten more frequent during these 10 years. And I am kind of used to them. But does this mean I have Schizophrenia? I`ve read in other forums that it does. I am afraid to talk to my therapist about it because I dont what this diagnose. If I have it, it is very mild I guess. It may cause me some problems, but I have always been able to study and work.

What do you think? Is this totally crazy?

 

[twinkle30]

I am highly functioning and still have schizophrenia. The thing with schizophrenia is if it is left untreated it can get a lot worse. It is best to be honest with your doctor and get treatment if necessary.

 

[Scandinavgirl]

Hmm ok. But whats the treatment? I dont need medications I believe. I can maybe learn to handle the problem a little better, but I want to solve this myself by working with my thought processes.

 

[twinkle30]

The treatment is usually medication.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

But does this mean I have Schizophrenia?

Not necessarly. Its not a good idea to try to self diagnose anything but most especially mental disorders.

I had something going on that has stopped a few months back but was happening for basically my entire life that had me afraid i had schizophrenia and it took me yrs to tell my therapist (like i was scared he was gonna diagnose me w/ it...not that thats bad or anything) and we looked it up in the DSM as we do all dignosis and i saw that i didnt fit the criteria.

Are you sure its not just your own thoughts projecting your fears? The anxiety being hyper in your head? That happens to me a lot.

Anyway, id talk to your therapist and make sure they look at the DSM w/ you so you understand the answer whether its yes or no.

 

[Lucycat]

I think you need to discuss all your fears honestly with your therapist. It is correct that some symptoms of schizophrenia are similar to CPTSD. People with either condition can suffer hallucinations and psychosis.

The thing is not to fear the diagnosis, but get it treated promptly whatever it is, and if it is not schizophrenia you need your psychiatrist to explain why it isn't and go into the detail of what you do have.

Psychoeducation goes a long way to start recovery.

The doctor will only prescribe medication if he thinks it necessary - but he should make that decision in discussion with you about the desired effects and any potential side-effects

 

[mumfie]

I read this once....... may be it could be OCD ? (if you dont want to think about scizofrenia) But i have no experience with neither OCD or scizofrenia.

Coopyed and translatet:

Have an OCD, is the nature of mind about the same as the unpleasant and unacceptable thoughts people may have. This is also shown through research. But for you is enough mind or impulses more urgent, frequent and intense. While most people leave an unpleasant thought pass with a shrug - they know that it is not dangerous - you might try to fight it as much as you can. There is, however, so the harder you fight against a thought, the easier it has to emerge again. It's like when you go to bed for the night and think: Now I have to sleep. When you often do not sleep. Again you can test yourself. Decide that you over the next two minutes not to think about Polar bears. You should do everything in your power not to think about them. You will probably learn that it not so easy. It's even harder not to think of something that actually makes you afraid, for example. the thought that you might endanger yourself or other damage.

Here are some examples of what thoughts or impulses may concern:
• Having made a mistake or having forgotten something
• becoming infected or infecting others
• having defiled
• being poisoned
• to have injured or killed someone
• Having done something immoral or sexually perverted

Thoughts or impulses can be particularly intrusive in situations where others may be harmed, where mistakes can be committed or where unpleasant memories or images can be awakened. It plagued by often contain dreaded consequences



Maybe its the same????: "I dont hear his thoughts, i dont hear his thought, i dont hear his thought,i dont hear his thought"

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Without obviously claiming to know anything about your diagnosis -- many features of schizophrenia including psychotic features are not uncommon with PTSD. Including but not limited to delusions, hallucinations, hearing voices. I am certain there are many on the forums who are more knowledgeable about this than I am, and also more up to date on the current thinking about what the etiology of schizophrenia is. But if you are having only a few, or very transient features, keep this in mind. Also age of onset is highly predictive as to the risk of full clinical schizophrenia -- later suggests against this outcome. I wonder if your T is well-versed in PTSD/CPTSD, since you say you did your own reading around this.

 

[Anarchy]

Clearly you are upset and worried. I hope that what follows will give you some comfort and reassurance.

Ten times more people "hear voices " than ever get a schizophrenia diagnosis.

I'll put that the other way around, over 90%of people who hear voices don't have schizophrenia.

Unfortunately, just as being queer was once falsely medicalised, the experience of hearing voices still is falsely medicalised.

There's an equivalent to gay liberation, please do a web search for " resonance, hearing voices movement "

There are two sides to my next argument
Do you have someone who you trust, who you can use as a reality anchor? If we are worried, it can be very easy to ruminate around in a spiral of drastic thinking. A reasonably intelligent trusted person who has a good grasp of reality can help you escape that spiral. They don't have to be brilliantly intelligent or qualified.

Be extremely suspicious of diagnoses of psychosis! Even in trials for new editions of DSM, there is only 60% or lower agreement between practitioners (an absolute travesty!).

In the unlikely event that you do get a diagnosis, ask for a second opinion,

Increasingly schizophrenia patients are being treated using talking therapies. So long as you have a safe home and are not exposed to high expressed emotion individuals, you should be able to argue against being given drugs.

If you are in an unsafe or high expressed emotion environment, please see about getting to a safer place.

@

 

[Anarchy]

I'd better add,
Certainly up to the mid 70s in America and up to 1992 in the former USSR, those places diagnosed schizophrenia at five times the rate of Europe.

This was brought out in comparative trials with practitioners diagnosing the same group of patients, so it is a reflection of diagnostic preference, not of different rates of occurrence.

I don't know what sources you have read up on?

Please be extremely sceptical with ALL sources. Old myths take a long time to get out of any system.

Lots of those old ideas could still be circulating.

 

[StarChild]

I got the feeling that my therapist was indicating I got schizophrenia. I do not think he was indicating it deliberately, but several of the things he said and asked for pointed in that direction.

To get a better understanding of your sitiuation @Scandinavgirl, could you please repeat, and I mean exactly repeat what he told / asked you? His exact words, not what you think or fear he might have, but his exact statements and questions which now worry you?

Oh, and until you see, hear, or read your therapist again, please s.t.o.p. trying to self diagnose, or ask people / members for their "diagnoses". As no one here can diagnose you. Neither self "diagnoses" nor "opinions / diagnoses" from members or friends are helpful. You're just driving yourself over the edge.

Try to stay calm, and stay in the now. Is it possible to write your therapist a mail, or a letter? You could write all things that worry you, but could also sort your thoughts while writing... - And as I said, it would be interesting to learn, what he told you during your last session...

 

[Scandinavgirl]

I read this once....... may be it could be OCD ? (if you dont want to think about scizofrenia) But i have...

It makes sense..been thinking of OCD since I also got some intrusive sexual related thoughts once in a while.