Age regression

[Teleri]

I am curious how many of you struggle with this and how you cope with it. This has become an increasing issue for me in the past ten years or so. And it is harder to control which has made certain social situations very painful and humiliating :(

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @Teleri... Do you mean when you revert back to a child like age?... I think I read somewhere that it had something to do with when the trauma happened and your brain is stuck there.....

Its not your fault.... As for how to help it I guess working through your trauma?.. Do you receive any help?.. Therapy. Medication.?

Im no expert here but I'm my travels through life I have met many people who sometimes have this behaviour... Including a family member and is sad... Sad that they never dealt with their problems and use other coping mechanisms to push it away.

Take care....

 

[digger]

@Teleri, can you explain a bit more what you mean by age regression? What does that look like and feel like for you?

 

[Teleri]

@Xena, yes you are right, that is what I mean. I am really sorry to hear about your family member. It's very easy to not get help and run the other direction. Using whatever distractions possible. I guess until it becomes too painful to ignore anymore. I would say I am at that point, but still wanting to run from it.


I have had quite a bit of therapy (especially DBT) but right as I was starting to learn about my age regression, I had issues with my medical insurance and could not continue with my therapy. It was terrible timing. She said I needed to try a therapy called Internal Family Systems. I have read a little about it and want to know as much as I can.


@digger, it seems I vacillate between ages. Anywhere from 4 to 15. And then I can operate in my adult self for quite awhile before I revert to a younger state. It just varies from day to day. I am starting to recognize which activities or situations trigger particular ages. Unfortunately I have much less control over this than I used to..

When I am talking with other people, I can behave very inappropriate for my age. My 4 year old self sees everyone like they are an authority figure. Even people much younger than me. The 12 year old self is very paranoid, depressed and self destructive. And I have a few others. I was told that I don't have dissociative identity disorder because I do not experience the amnesia that goes along with it. And it doesn't seem like DID anyway, but I understand that it could be close. I rarely talk about this, so thank you for asking

 

[littleoc]

...right as I was starting to learn about my age regression, I had issues with my medical insurance and could not continue with my therapy. It was terrible timing.

Yeah, it sure was bad timing. I wanted to let you know something I found out really quick -- some private therapists may still be able to help you, even if you don't have insurance that covers it. I found a private therapist who allows me to occasionally open tabs to pay later (within six months), and she also does discounts specifically for those who don't have insurance. Maybe that could be useful knowledge to you.

Also, I haven't really discussed it with my therapist much, but I do have something going on with ages -- usually when I dissociate. I am ten or eleven am terrified, but usually I don't remember it. Probably the panic I feel, as I don't have a DID according to my therapist? Hm, that's the first time that's ever struck me as odd... but anyway. I do understand at least to a degree how confusing that can be. I frequently end up confused around my mother, and one of my siblings, and it messes with my ability to act like an adult (though I'm barely into adulthood anyway, to be honest, so for all I know it's normal).

 

[Deleted member 44579]

@Xena, yes you are right, that is what I mean. I am really sorry to hear about your...

I think you have alot of courage and self awareness... And you trying to do something my family member doesn't have the guts to do. I hope you find away... Take care...

 

[DharmaGirl]

That is what I hate about Internal Family Systems therapy. It talks about different selves, and people are convinced they have alters. Not that that is what you did, but I went to an IFS therapist for a few months, and he was awful. I also regress without knowing it though. My trauma therapist who I was with for 4, almost 5 years, told me my voice changes and I act like a 3 year old. I had no idea. I don't believe in IFS now, just because it confuses so many people and the therapists don't make it clear that the person doesn't have a dissociative disorder, it just sounds like it with all the protectors and such.

I am highly dissociative, and I have self aware alters so I too, am not DID. I don't realize when I do it, so I don't know until later that I've done it. I work on this using mindfulness. Nobody can be mindful all the time, but practicing makes you more aware of when you are regressing.

 

[Teleri]

@littleoc, I appreciate you telling me about looking into a therapist that could work with me that way. I have felt a little hopeless about being able to afford what I need. I just hope I can find one in my area.


Has your therapist suggested to do more with this? I would be curious how they would go about it. But I also know that something like this can't be rushed either. It makes sense to me that when you regress it happens during dissociation. I have never made that connection before. And especially around family members. I also have dissociation and regression around family. And the older I get the more it seems to happen


@DharmaGirl, Thank you for telling me your experience. I guess so much can depend on the therapist and their skill level. And it bums me to think that IFS isn't a good type of therapy.


In my DBT classes I learned about mindfulness exercises for the first time. I have taken little steps with that. There was a while over the summer that I was looking into a lot of dharma talks too :) It feels like that in itself is therapy. I wish I had more motivation to keep going with it.

 

[EveHarrington]

IFST IS AWESOME!

@Freida is doing it and she knows quite a bit.

I’m not about to go and get another therapist so I’m doing self therapy IFS. There are books on Amazon that you can get to guide yourself through the process. (The Series is quite good.)

IFST does NOT tell you that you have alters. Throw away that notion. This is different than DID. IFST parts are NOT DID parts. They are very different theories that unfortunately use the same word “parts” and this hangs up a lot of people.

I have a little one who is about 3 or so. I also have 2 dissociated parts, fear and anger. I will never be integrating anger as there are very real benefits to having it be a dissociated feeling. I will probably try to integrate fear at some point. I have been getting to know my other parts, too. FAWN is very problematic and has created many issues for me over the last few months.

I have a theoretical 3D model of my parts in my head. It’s similar to the ones in books, with modifications to account for dissociated parts.

I HIGHLY recommend IFST if you are trying to get in touch with your feelings and learn how to manage them better.

 

[Sideways]

just because it confuses so many people and the therapists don't make it clear that the person doesn't have a dissociative disorder

Yup, it happens too often, and can do a lot of damage to an otherwise fully integrated patient.

 

[Friday]

I am curious how many of you struggle with this and how you cope with it...

Not to being a kid, but to thinking I’m a pissed off 19yo? Instead of on the wrong side of 30? All the damn time.

Reality checking.

Where’s my head at? What do I want outta being in that headspace? What can I make real, or meet in this moment? What’s my goal here, my purpose?

It’s a pretty brutal yanking to front and center & assessment of what’s going on in my life, but it actually gives me options.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I didn't mean that IFS is bad, I meant that it confuses a lot of people into believing they have DID. The therapist has a lot to do with it too, and I bought the book, but the therapist was an ass, and I am high on the dissociative spectrum, so I never used it.