Agoraphobia and procrastination, social phobia

[Trina]

I added 'Social Phobia' to the subject line, because, for me, the agoraphobia & procrastination are parts of the same thing, and that's social phobia.

I recently realized that I was being triggered very easily, after a bad situation where I had to cut off contact with my brother, and I joined a mental illness awareness group online. After leaving an emotionally abusive marriage (several years ago), I had some therapy at a women's shelter, and thought I'd worked-through my issues, both with my ex and with my childhood, which was, well, awful. But I have a huge amount of anxiety returning, and it's obvious to me that I need to do something about it, or I'm simply not going to survive, let alone ever have a decent quality of life.

I've tried, for years, to overcome anxiety, depression and sometimes panic attacks, but never really made the connection to PTSD until this recent stuff came up. Then I did some reading online about PTSD symptoms, diagnosis, etc. and I have enough of the PTSD symptoms, along with what I've been through in my life, that I

Anyway, the thing is that I've decided that I need to find a good trauma therapist. I'm on disability and haven't had a car for about a year. The lack of transportation has added to my agoraphobia, it seems. I need to send in an application to my county's transportation department, so that I can have scheduled transportation when I need it for appointments. But I'm finding myself unable to put the papers together and put them in an envelope and mail them. I'm hoping that, with posting this, I'll feel enough 'push' to actually do it. I need to move forward. It's so terribly difficult.

 

[Ted Moen]

A good trauma therapist is a good start, Trina. So send in those papers so you can make appointments :)

Normal (non-traumatized) people work through their issues, put them behind them, and move on. People with ptsd learn to manage their symptoms and live a little better each day with ptsd. Moving forward for us is learning to live with ptsd, learning to get our current needs met in our current situation with all this old stuff (intrusive thoughts and feelings) going on in the background.

So first task, ignore the stuff going on in the background for a moment and send in those papers. Then relax and pat yourself on the back. Good work!

Ted

 

[friendlybadger]

Trina, with each tiny step you take, you do feel better about yourself and a little stronger. The courage to take that first step though is hard to find but I know you can do it :) I know from my own experience that the longer your remain house-bound, the harder it is to get out ever. But Trina once you've even mailed that envelope and taken that first small step, it does get easier I promise. I am exactly like you and I procrastinate alot of things in order to avoid having to leave the house, but I've made up a game of trying to challenge my way of thinking. I try to do one small thing opposite of what I want to do. Even the smallest thing. Like I normally wouldn't order food through a drive-through window. But I made a game of it initially and said, Ok what can I do that I normally wouldn't? And after having a near panic attack, I placed my order and thought, omg I didn't die! :) And now when I have to do something that I don't think I can do (read: endure), I try to challenge myself to do it despite my fears and self-limiting beliefs. It's hard, no kidding, but totally worth it.
I never ever imagined I'd be where I am now where I am *almost* like "normal" (non-traumatized) people. It feels so good to be able to do things 'normal' folks take for granted, like go through a drive-through, or walk into a post office. It still is hard for me, and I will readily admit there are things I simply can not do and I don't think I ever will be able to, but I'm proud of where I've come to in my life because I never imagined I would ever be here.
I know you can do it too :)
Hugs and blessings, FB