Alcohol

[Barberian]

Moobies? (man boobies?)

(maybe I shouldn't post this.. but I couldn't resist :eek:

 

[Nadege]

Barberian, Yeah, I can see that happenin' too! :)

 

[Anna]

Beer, boobs bigger? nah... but I know you can get a beer belly if you drink too much beer!

Best stick to the spirits then eh? :P

 

[ericaboo]

This is a huge problem for me because I will begin to drink more and more until it destroys my mental/physical/financial health. I've tried to moderate, but when something stressful comes along, I lose control of it.

For me - it's best to abstain. Even if I'm able to have one drink a night for awhile, sooner or later this opens the door to full on alcoholism.

 

[lighteningdarkness]

Thanks for this thread, it's good for me to read

I've been drinking alcohol heavily since I was 14. This was linked to a traumatic incident and I got drunk every day, including during the day for months. I managed to moderate a bit when I went back to school in the September and started my exams but it's remained a real issue. It's just such a long standing coping mechanism.

I generally drink 4-5 pints a night. It's very difficult to sleep without it. My anxiety has recently increased and I can't eat during the day, feeling too sick, so I have a drink to drop the anxiety and then I can eat in the evening with my husband

I just need it to block things out. I've recently started therapy, and although I don't drink before hand I'm wondering if drinking afterwards isn't a good idea? The therapy releases emotion that I normally keep properly locked away and feeling the emotion is so uncomfortable, I just want to drink it away.

If I'm honest with myself I know that I need to be experiencing the emotion afterwards (I guess?) to process it and not just during the session?

 

[bright_morning]

Has anyone gone through a phase where booze makes everything worse? It's driving me crazy right now. Especially because I am a home brewer and the beer culture in my city is among the best in the world.

I don't drink everyday, but I like to have my beer when I want it. Right now I feel like a prisoner of my trauma because the flashbacks are in high gear right now and beer really sets them off even worse. I don't recall that alcohol was ever involved in my abuse... Then again there a lot of things I am only recently remembering. :(

The other thing is 30 years of hyper vigilance and adrenalin survival has seemingly suddenly taken its toll and it's like my alcohol tolerance has gone backwards on me. After years of sampling good and rare beers I am usually always good for about 4 beers in a sitting without feeling ill. Lately I feel like 2 and I am toxic!

I hate this. It feels like just another way those bastards get say in my life.

 

[Bosco2153]

I don't 'drink'. Well, but I occasionally 'taste wine'. NOT. About once a week I buy a bottle of pretty wine and consume the entire thing...always thinking I'm just going to sip it daintily. I can NEVER stop with one glass, and if there's another bottle in the house I might even open that for another glass...and feel awful next morning. For the most part though...I don't think of a drink. BUT I have other crutches. Currently I buy menthol cough drops by the 200 piece bag and go through that in a couple of days. I've actually thought of getting one of those fake cigarettes to puff on and I'm not even a smoker. I just seem to need a 'filler' for all the space inside me that will otherwise be ptsd crap.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

I have times when I do and stretches when I don't. Right now I'm not drinking for a few months. For me it allows thinking/doing/acting without becoming overwhelmed by everything.

And "I don't puke when I drink. I [have] puke[d] when I don't."

 

[bright_morning]

Ok yup the alcohol is definitely setting me off. Last night I went to a birthday party and brought some homebrew and other commercial beer. I only drank 4 beers and even had time to come home and eat and chill for a while. But I went to bed and woke up sweating, heart racing, and finally was painfully awake all night. This is actually normal for me unless I medicate for sleep, as insomnia is completely habituated for me.

The difference is that now booze is setting off very distinct flashbacks with a distinct set of emotions. Seems its a trigger. This sucks. Home brewing is such a joyful hobby for me, but I think I might have to take a break from it and look at whats coming up.

It was such a bizarre experience having it trigger something, but the flashbacks are ambiguous because of the buzz. Ugh.

 

[ericaboo]

If I get triggered while on alcohol, the likelihood is rage. For me - I don't think the alcohol itself is a trigger, but it completely changes the way I react to the trigger. Definitely not in a good way...

 

[Red Feather]

I am more addicted to dissociating then to drinking. Might have a similar effect too. I remember all my friends were smoking out and I was just dissociating.... In anycase doesn't really solve the problem does it?

 

[Hashi]

...3 years later you realize how hugely mistaken you were and you quit. Only then, you find you can't quit. And 5 years later you wonder how much better your life would have been if you had just quit when you had the chance...

i used to like the "break" that alcohol gave me, I felt it helped me to cope. I saw it as a positive thing, it was relaxing, fun and helped me sleep. In the longer term, though, it has made it harder. Not just because of the problems it brings in itself, and there are quite a few of those, but also because it's taken me away from the habit/discipline of doing other things to cope. Now I realise I don't have any commitment to coping for more than a few days at a time, and then I'm ready for a break again. Except it isn't, any more. It makes me feel empty and depressed very quickly now. So now my break is to feel horrible in a different way.

I've never had the lost weekend kind of lost time to drinking. I've never drunk so much I've been senseless. But I've lost a lot to drinking - not addressing things, not taking better care of myself, delaying healing, getting emotionally weaker instead of stronger.

I'm lucky that I'm not physically dependent, but psychologically it's hard to move away from, even though it no longer feels fun or friendly. I have enough to deal with without having to work on not drinking, too. I wish I'd never started.