Almost Got Locked Up

[AvoidanceRulez]

I had been dry for like 3 or 4 months...then out of frustration decided to get drunk. Prior to this, I'd only down 105 vodka, but saw some 151 vodka and got plastered out of my gourd. It seems when I drink, many times I'll get really depressed (alcohol's a depressant..so not really a shocker there). When I drink, I often talk about getting raped, molested, how I never shoulda been born, how I shoulda died at various events in my life. This time that I got drunk off the 151, my bf was at work, and I guess I called a suicide hotline and cried about my life..but never ever ever ever ever ever said I was gonna take myself out, but I passed out. They traced the call and cops and paramedics took me away..I apparently was fighting it saying I didnt want to go. Don't take me etc etc. They stripped me of my clothes and chained me to an f'ing bed--on all fours. I never ever ever posed a threat to anyone..not even myself..just cried, got drunk and blacked out. They let me out a couple hours later because on the recorded phone call, like I said, I never ever EVER implied i was gonna hurt myself or others.

I was treated like (profane word), humiliated and frightened. I'm not so sure I ever want to see a shrink again. I told a *counselor* who is like helping me find a bleepin job that I will never ever seek help again, unless it's new age or something that will never ever ever go on my record.

This month for me has been like a country song---my bf lost his job, I'm not having the best luck finding a job...I fall off the wagon and get locked up..and now dont trust *therapists*

[End of vent]

 

[Deleted member 5760]

AvoidanceRulez - I completely understand that you are angry. There are possibly some points to take into account though. Firstly, you did call a suicide line. That probably implies you're suicidal to the person on the other end of the phone. Perhaps they were, in fact, acting out of concern for you.

Secondly, I would also look at it from a different standpoint in relation to the drinking - obviously you were so drunk you lost control and weren't thinking rationally. So maybe consider not drinking as much next time. They possibly kept you watched until you sobered up a bit again, thinking it was in your own best interests.

Lastly, IMHO, it would be a shame to quit treatment over this incident. I'm sure there are many of us who have done similar things. From what you've said you weren't serious about trying to end it or hurt another. But you did do it, so maybe subconsciously you were hitting rock bottom to wake yourself up a little bit and bounce back. Maybe a 'cry for help' even to yourself. Just some thoughts.

 

[Jade-]

One thing I have learned the hard way is if I'm gonna get totally wasted then I need to be prepared for the consequences of my actions.

I'm sorry, but you called a suicide hotline....they obviously thought you were suicidal, not just calling to order pizza. So, almost getting locked up was the consequence you had to suffer. No different than when I called 911...I called an emergency number and almost got arrested for using it for non-emergency purposes.Why? Because I was wasted.

I understand you being pissed right now, but really, you have no one to blame but yourself. Just like I have no one to blame but myself for all the stupid shit I have done while drunk. I like to blame others and make excuses, but it's my own fault.

 

[AvoidanceRulez]

AvoidanceRulez -you did call a suicide line. That probably implies you're suicidal to the person on the other end of the phone. .

Possibly...but in my opinion..and i've even told my former shrinks this---if i wanna go, i'm not gonna call someone to prevent me from doing it..i'll (as Nike used to say in their ads) Just do it

it would be a shame to quit treatment over this incident. maybe subconsciously you were hitting rock bottom to wake yourself up a little bit and bounce back. Maybe a 'cry for help' even to yourself. Just some thoughts.

Maybe

One thing I have learned the hard way is if I'm gonna get totally wasted then I need to be prepared for the consequences of my actions.

True

I'm sorry, but you called a suicide hotline....they obviously thought you were suicidal, not just calling to order pizza.

True again, but I posed no threat to myself or others. They locked me up because i was depressed--people should not get locked up for being depressed. I consider this an extreme breech of confidentiality and privacy. It's not the same as ordering pizza or even calling 911. If you call 911, it is quite likely that someone's gonna get taken away via ambulance or cops--thats usually the purpose of calling 911, for authorties to assist you. I just wanted to vent and did it while drunk. I think it was extremely unprofessional..but the sad thing is that public things like that are almost always protected legally no matter what they do(except in a few cases)



Anyways...thanks all y'all for responding.

 

[Iam]

Hi Avoidance,

I understand you being upset about what happened. Unfortunately how was the person on the hotline to know. Personally, I'm glad they kept you safe. I say this because of what happened to me Oct 31st.

I was depressed and got totally drunk off my butt (I don't normally drink) and smoked some weed. I totally broke down talking about getting raped and other childhood traumas and saying I couldn't do it anymore to my grown sons. When everyone left I found that I was suicidal and because I was uninhibited from the alcholol, I doubted my ability to talk myself out of it. My husband took me to emergency. It was awful. I did actually ask to be locked up, but tried to leave at one point and they held me. I was now an involuntary patient even though I had gone voluntarily. I was in the psych ward for 4 days. It really pissed me off to be put on a "hold", but looking back, I see they were just trying to protect me. They also called my therapists and my regular dr. to arrange appts with them for me. I was so freaking embarassed to go see them, to face them with what I had done. In the long run though it has worked out and I am getting better help now as a result of my T's knnowing how bad off I am.

IDK....just wanted to share that from a recent similar experience. Stay in therapy, your T will now understand you better and he/she is only there to help you. Besides...it wasn't your T that had you taken in so why blame him?

 

[MamaBear]

They "locked you up" because you weren't in a position to care for yourself at the time. Therapy is a long journey. There will be times we stumble, but the important part is to always get up and keep moving.

 

[AvoidanceRulez]

MamaBear...uh, no. They locked me up because I called a crisis line drunker than a skunk. That is no reason to lock someone up. Its the fact that I went on and on(on the phone mind you) and the person on the other end didnt have the best judgment, because you see, when people are locked up against their will for posing a threat to themselves or others, they're locked up for a minimum of 72 hours, I was only there for 5 hours
. If i'm a threat just because I get plastered then I guess I should also be locked up for jaywalking
It was humiliating and uncalled for

 

[anni]

Yes, but can you imagine what would happen if these people did NOT respond to everyone who called, and take each one seriously? That's the thing. They have to check out every, single call. I'm sure many suicidal people back down in a big hurry when the professionals do show up, because the wish to be left alone. The folks at the hotline don't know who you are, and what your intentions were, you know? The first person they do not respond to would be the one who kills themselves, and who wishes them to take that chance? To be fair, it's really rather unthinkable.

I don't wish it to sound as if everyone's giving you a hard time, you know but drunk or no- something in your head made you pick up a phone and call a crisis hot line. Most drunks call their ex's and whine or send 100 pizzas to their bosses house at midnight. They heard something, too. Those people are trained professionals, not reactionaries anway, and heard 'something'. There's just 'something' in this which deosn't make sense to me, that's all.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm sorry that this was such an experience for you AvoidanceRulez but you said it all: 'apparently you called a hotline"- perhaps there were words that were said that you cannot recall now. I am routinely in a position to be viewing other's actions when they are hugely drunk; some they recall, others they don't, and at no time do they think it was as 'bad' as it was.

The main thing is, you're still here. For the longest time I made sure not to get wasted (myself) alone or I am sure I would have checked out of the Hotel early.
They are not your T. Go to your T, and carry on. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[AdamAnt]

There are so many ways this could have gone so much wronger, please don't look for fault in them! They may have made a mistake, but if they did it was because they were concerned for your life (at a time when you weren't). Even if the situation was misinterpreted by them please know that they had your best interests at heart.

Imagine if you had meant it...wouldn't you want that very same person in charge? Get them guys a Starbucks giftcard for Christmas! :)

 

[Tinyflame]

they were concerned for your life (at a time when you weren't). Even if the situation was misinterpreted by them please know that they had your best interests at heart

I think AdamAnt has a point AvoidanceRulez: maybe we can't care (about) ourselves or see-it-that way, sometimes.