Alone Vs Loneliness

[Gadgie]

In our case we are mainly lonely because we don't trust others enough to tell them our story

You've hit right in the nail there, it's my lack of trust and low confidence that has sparked all this off. It all started when my late wife's family did to me before and after she passed.

The thefts were bad enough to take, but when they got me banned from visiting her in hospital, telling the staff that I had abused her while caring for her, was the last straw for me! It meant that I never saw her once during her last nine days

It's no wonder I've lost my faith and confidence?

 

[Snowflake]

So sorry @Gadgie

 

[Stickler]

@Gadgie :cry: condolences.

I am alone and very lonely...trying to find a way to come to terms with living alone permanently. Alone is hurtful and safe.

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! Stickler, it's been almost two years for me now, and I still can't get used to living alone. I don't feel like that all the time, but when it does hit me, and hits me hard!

I think if I made the effort to go out and meet other people, that might help. But with my confidence totally shattered this is not an option for me, I don't think I will ever get my confidence back?

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't ever really anticipate finding a way out of being alone or this feeling of loneliness. I'm trying my hardest to accept it, but at this point life feels pointless, like I'm stuck in a world I don't want to be in and I'm biding my time until death (which I pray comes soon).

 

[Snowflake]

I don't ever really anticipate finding a way out of being alone or this feeling of loneliness. I'...

I totally understand @EveHarrington! Life sucks, the loneliness sucks. I almost feel like I nonexistent/invisible in this world.

Thinking of you-

 

[Chelsie]

I like being alone. But the loneliness sucks so bad. I am not sure why or what I am posting-just real...

I spend most of my time alone because my husband is military and gone most of the time. Loneliness gets old though. I've found it hard to connect with people and the strange thing about it is that I used to make friends easily but then realized that I was a friend to them but they weren't even there for me.

I just want to say! I'm here! I hope to get better at getting on here more often!

 

[Deleted member 35737]

I think that's quite natural. there are times when even I have felt like this.

 

[Lotis]

I like being alone.

I like having my alone time especially when I am working on something. Feeling lonely and being alone is different for me. My loneliness is always with me. I attribute the loneliness to never feeling like I fit in anywhere or can really connect with someone else. I do not know any other PTSD sufferers or abuse victims, hell no one around me even suffers from depression so it is hard to feel like I fit in at all.
I am so terribly lonely. The loneliness is a hole inside of me - when I was younger I used to say I have a hole in my soul, in my mind it looked like a big dark pit. It can never be completely filled in. In my darkest hours I would feel that hole taking over, swallowing me from the inside; like a big black growing blob. I hate when I feel so lonely that I feel this aching need to be cared for. I do not want to feel needy because it is a painful reminder of what I did not have growing up in my life;.love, safety, encouragement, praise, being held etc. When seeking out what I needed it always lead to disappointment.
It took me years to believe that I wasn't born bad or damaged. I wasn't born evil and with this sign that said "hey abuse me". I wasn't born with that hole and the feeling of incessant loneliness; it was created. I now believe that my abusers created my hole, my loneliness. They took from me a part that I can never get back; it will always ache and it will always be a reminder. Some really awesome things in life have filled that hole a little bit but it will always be there like a scar on my chest.
@Snowflake you are not alone :)
~L

 

[Snowflake]

@Lotis i couldn't have said it any better-

I know others feel like we do. But it still hurts. We are cyber connected-at times I wish we could all live together in our own place-and have each other. (Not a cyber place)