Alright We Need More Jokes

[marc and honey]

An old couple go to a doctor and ask him to watch them have sex and tell if he see's them doing anything wrong. So they have sex.
While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything wrong!"
A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are doing anything wrong.
They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything wrong."
This goes on for weeks. Then the doctor asks why they keep coming.
The guy said: "If we go to her house her husband will catch us. If we go to my house my wife will catch us. A hotel costs fifty bucks. Here it's thirty-five dollars and medicare pays half!"

 

[daniel]

Why was Rock Hudson buried with his ass sticking out of the ground?

So all his friends could stop by for a cold one!

 

[daniel]

stolen from some place!

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line. If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother’s maiden name. If you have Dead Link Removed, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won’t be crazy forever. If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.’

 

[marc and honey]

swarn protector of you nuts

 

[Jimmy1]

a

 

[Anglesachse]

HOLY SHIT

 

[Jimmy1]

If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember, nobody loves you on any other day of the year either​

​

 

[Wagon]

Wise words from an old timer. Not me.

"When getting a prostate/rectal exam, always make sure there is only one hand on your shoulders.......Not two."

 

[Wagon]

For when you care just enough.

 

[Ned]

HOLY SHIT

Now you'll forgive me if I don't say I like this......................

 

[Jimmy1]

Prostate exams are now done by a cystoscopy over here under local or general. The put a small camera down the eye!!! Hurts like a bitch for you first piss, but it beats some old guy with fingers like salami's, rubber gloves and petroleum jelly.

 

[marc and honey]

one more chuck norris joke, probably read all of them written in porta pottys.